Saturday, 30 May 2015

Thursday, 28 May 2015

Accountancy dullness

Northampton Chronicle: Man retires

But give him his due, 38 years in accountancy deserves some sort of medal

Spotter's Badge: Mike

Wednesday, 27 May 2015

Sandwich dullness

Bexley News Shopper: South London sandwich shortage bites HARD

Give it a couple of days, and we'll see raw, naked savagery on the streets of Charlton.

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Tuesday, 26 May 2015

AAAAARGH We've run out of bubbly dullness

Warrington Guardian: Shop in Lymm runs out of prosecco

The first of a million "Shop in [INSERT PLACE NAME HERE] runs out of prosecco" stories, and we will run no more. Unless there are riots, obviously.

Spotter's Badge: Jill

Royal baby dullness

Yeovil Express: Dull argument over whether there should have been a flag over Chard Town Hall to mark the birth of a royal baby

I actually fell asleep typing that. The answer, of course, it "Who gives a shit?"

Saturday, 23 May 2015

Giant Twiglet dullness

Exeter Express and Echo: Serious shit happens in Exeter

I'd stay off the streets until the Guinness Book of Records people have been

Spotter's Badge: Mike

Friday, 22 May 2015

Town of the year dullness

Reading Post: Reading wins Thames Valley Town of the Year award

What's Slough got to do to catch a break?

"Town of the Year is presented to the management team of the town which is judged to have enhanced its town's brand, by implementing the most successful town-centre strategy."

WAKE UP IT'S OVER.

Thursday, 21 May 2015

Girl gets job dullness

Bromley News Shopper: Ronseal

Well done. Perfect dull news. But well done.

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Tuesday, 19 May 2015

Monday, 18 May 2015

Doughnut dullness

Carmarthen Journal: Baker to stock doughnuts

Thus finally catching up with bakers all over the world.

Spotter's Badge: Nick

Saturday, 16 May 2015

Tent dullness

Greenwich News Shopper: Tent blows onto railway line

"The tent may have looked like this one" --- Top work, News Shopper. Take the rest of the day off.

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Friday, 15 May 2015

Thursday, 14 May 2015

Squirrel dullness

Bromley News Shopper: Squirrel eats food

I've got a squirrel in my garden that's been feasting on my fatty balls*

*not sexy slang

Tuesday, 12 May 2015

Monday, 11 May 2015

Compost dullness

Ealing Today: Free compost

Handy for planting any spare bodies you might have in the Ealing area.

Said too much.

Spotter's Badge: Chris

Sunday, 10 May 2015

Bonfire dullness

Kidderminster Shuttle: Bonfire rages out of control

I've been to Stourport. This can only be seen as an improvement.

Spotter's Badge: Tim

Saturday, 9 May 2015

Flower arranging dullness

Watford Observer: Flower arranging society arranges flowers

Although this picture suggests they've created The Terminator.

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Thursday, 7 May 2015

Duck dullness

Eastern Daily Press: Ban on feeding ducks

Too right. Look how big they've got. Duck obesity is a huge problem in Swaffham.

Spotter's Badge: Chris

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Tuesday, 5 May 2015

New Screwfix dullness

Blackpool Gazette: Blackpool gets a second Screwfix store

TIP: Don't buy the cheapest screws, tools and fixings from Screwfix. They may sound like a bargain, but invariably they're mince. I've been there.

One day, Blackpool will be nothing but Screwfix stores, and the people there will starve to death. Don't say you haven't been warned.

Spotter's Badge: Susie

Saturday, 2 May 2015

Friday, 1 May 2015

Lost property dullness

Torquay Herald Express: Have you lost this bag?

We've got your baby's cigarette filters.

Spotter's Badge: Kieran