Friday, 30 October 2015

Bin bag dullness

Clacton and Frinton Gazette: Locals might have to buy their own bin bags

Wait... a seaside town that still leaves its rubbish out in bags? I bet bin day is AMAZING* there.

*By which I mean seagull armageddon

Thursday, 29 October 2015

Rebranding dullness

Bournemouth Echo: Martin & Co renamed Martinco

...except for its public-facing businesses which will remain Martin & Co. Alles klar?

Wednesday, 28 October 2015

Tuesday, 27 October 2015

Car crash dullness

Bexley News Shopper: Police called to crash in Bexley

"We were called to a crash involving two cars in Bexley at 7.30am. No one was reported injured"

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Monday, 26 October 2015

Discount store dullness

Lincolnshire Echo: Lincolnshire gets its first Poundworld

To be honest, I don't know how the locals are going to cope with prices rising so steeply.

Sunday, 25 October 2015

Friday, 23 October 2015

Thursday, 22 October 2015

Peter Andre dullness - The Embiggening

Greenwich News Shopper: Peter Andre visits a boat

Shropshire Star: Peter Andre to turn on Telford's Christmas lights

Reading Post: Peter Andre to visit a record shop

Here's what we do when he turns up in Telford or Reading: Everybody hide, and make him think he's arrived in a ghost town. Then we all shamble out of our hiding places done up as zombies and he either runs away, or we have the best ever Thriller dance-off. I am not mad. 

And, for the sake of balance:

Bexley News Shopper: Katie Price visits a night club

#TEAMKATIE TILL I DIE

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Tuesday, 20 October 2015

Very small hole dullness

Oxford Mail: Small hole opens in the road

"It started out the size of a 50p piece but it’s now a big problem since we have many children and elderly people living around here"

THINK OF THE KIDDIEWINKS

Spotter's Badge: Richard

Monday, 19 October 2015

Sunday, 18 October 2015

Basingstoke dullness

Basingstoke Gazette: Your big chance to vote for the worst roundabout in Basingstoke

There is - alas - no 'Nuke the site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure' option.

(I voted for Winchester Road, it's a total shit-up)

Wednesday, 14 October 2015

Dullness of a horticultural variety

York Press: Five-leaf clover found

You get one of these by splicing together a two-leaf clover and a three-leaf clover.

Spotter's Badge: Jonathan, Joe

Tuesday, 13 October 2015

Ring stuck on finger dullness

Bournemouth Echo: Fire brigade called to get ring off woman's finger

A spokesperson for Dorset and Wiltshire Fire Control said she sought the help of firefighters, who used "small tools" to release the ring from her finger.

In other news, I have a Google News search for "small tools" and it's not even sexy slang.

Monday, 12 October 2015

Flag collection dullness

Watford Observer: Couple's flag collection in museum

I've got a priceless collection of Arsenal shirts. Any takers?

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Saturday, 10 October 2015

Friday, 9 October 2015

EastEnders dullness

Rugby Advertiser: Actor to visit nightclub

And there's nothing more dull than an actor's PA in a nightclub

Spotter's Badge: Rob R

Monday, 5 October 2015

Sunday, 4 October 2015

No pizza dullness

Maidenhead Advertiser: Domino's Pizza not coming to Cookham

Other chains not coming to Cookham: Harrod's, Selfridge's, Spearmint Rhino.

Spotter's Badge: Rob A

Thursday, 1 October 2015

Empty phone box near Basingstoke dullness

Basingstoke Gazette: Overton Parish Council have no idea what to do with empty phone box

IDEA: Fill it with rabid bats, and film people who are not in on the joke getting attacked by the rabid bats when they go to use the phone, send the results in to You've Been Framed. Hey Presto - £250!

Shoplifting dullness

Bournemouth Echo: Police seek woman who stole duck from charity shop

Stealing ducks from charity shops is just a gateway drug. Before you know it, she's starting a gloabl banking crisis and then we'll all be sorry.