Sunday 30 September 2012

Sewing Class Dullness

Postcode Gazette: New Saturday sewing classes

Spotter's Badge: Phil

Swan dullness

Reading Evening Post: Swan holds up traffic

And my favourite dull picture in all local newspaper publishing: The Reading Post's stock photo of a police car, complete with a pair of feet.

Tuesday 25 September 2012

Missing celebrity cat's nephew dullness

Reading Post: Missing cat comes back

The story is not hugely dull in itself, but we include it on these pages for what is the most tenuous celebrity link we have ever seen in a news story, ever:

"The Bengal cat, whose uncle is owned by former Arsenal footballer Thierry Henry..."

Let us make that perfectly clear. It is not Thierry Henry's nephew's cat. It is Thierry Henry's cat's nephew. In the words of David Coleman (no relation): "Quite extraordinary".

Doggy dullness

Billericay Gazette: Dog kennels to appear in forthcoming episode of The Only Way is Essex

All the proof you need that our society is doomed.

Monday 24 September 2012

Sunday 23 September 2012

Metal detecting dullness

Lancashire Evening Post: Coin collectors' club something something something

I was going to put this in Angry People in Local Newspapers, but as soon as I reached "South Ribble Metal Detecting Club", my eyes glazed over. I should start an Angry Dull blog, where this would be the only entry.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Rock visit dullness

Basingstoke Gazette: Stone visits village on world tour

A stone. A great big hunk of rock.

Saturday 22 September 2012

Thursday 20 September 2012

Novelty hat dullness

Braintree Chronicle: Man wears hat, in public where people can see him and everything

In which the Blogger outs himself as a cynical bastard.

Celebrity goes down the pub dullness

Eastern Daily Press: Celebrity goes down the pub

Twin town dullness

Driffield Today: Old people visit stately home

I vowed not to take the rise out of shoddy journalism on these pages, but this is the second story I've linked to from this title this week let down by poor spelling and grammar. Not to mention the dullness.

Sunday 16 September 2012

Bike shop dullness

Driffield Today: Bike shop expands

What do you get when you take a press release, subtract the spellchecker, and throw in a tight publication deadline? THIS

Bulb dullness

Spenborough Guardian: Bulb catches fire

Not a light bulb. A bulb bulb.

Saturday 15 September 2012

Sports news dullness

Bournemouth Echo: Old lady plays darts

I had a discussion with the Bournemouth Echo Twitter person about this. They are convinced this is not dull news. I disagree. The only way this would not be dull would be if she was a Sumo wrestler.

Broken bollard dullness

The Cornishman: Broken bollard 'is not fit for purpose'

Why are they carrying flowers? Why? WHY?

Spotter's Badge: Phil - "This has totally ruined our Cornish holiday. But it's those who live here I really feel for"

Terrapin dullness

Cambridge News: Terrapin found

That's - oh-ho! - TURTLEY DULL!!!!!

Spotter's Badge: Al

Friday 14 September 2012

New shed dullness

This is Total Essex: Man in bid to build shed

We ran this one last week on Angry People in Local Newspapers, but we're still getting the link emailed to us at least twice a day. And why not, for it is the very pinnacle of everything that Dull News is about: Human drama, suspense, sheds.

Dull village near Henley dullness

Henley Standard: Library shut

Henley Standard: Locals to marvel at new-fangled "road signs"

I went to Benson once. It was closed.

Knitting Dullness

Bradford Telegraph and Argus: KNITTING HAPPENS

Spotter's Badge: Mark

Thursday 13 September 2012

Lost scarf dullness

This is Total Essex: Scarf found

Holy crap! It's all kicking off in Brentwood!

Cabbage dullness

Hereford Times: Cabbage grows

We're already teetering on the brink of becoming a Weird News blog instead of a Dull News one. But THIS IS DULL

Spotter's Badges: Chris, Karl and TV's Al Muuray

Marketing dullness

Business Dorset: Company appoints marketing manager in charge of soil, compost and mulch

I'd mulch her garden (If the plants were in need of some extra help in this unpredictable summer weather)