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I'm not currently updating this site.

However, I'm still collecting dull news on our Facebook page.

Celebrity going to the football dullness

Bolton News: Celebrity whose boyfriend plays for a football club is seen going to same football club's ground to watch him play football.

Football.

Spotter: Karen

Badly parked car dullness

OneMK: Car is parked badly in Bletchley

That is the entire story. I am led to believe it is one of a series.

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Ever prog rockers have to do non-prog rock things dullness

Boston Standard: Blow-by-blow account as Rick Wakeman goes to the Post Office

Probably picking up a mail order cape or something, I dunno.

Spotter's Badge: Stephen

Job vacancy dullness

East Anglia Daily Times: Job going at garage, apply now!

Have a vacancy in Norfolk or Suffolk? Get in touch with the local paper for a full page feature.

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Vegetable show dullness

Exeter Express and Echo: Purple carrot

Yeah, papier mache's great.

Celebrity dullness

Westmorland Gazette: Tony Robinson spotted walking past cafe

I'm sure he's got a cunning plan

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Closed McDonald's dullness

Folkestone Herald: Spare a thought for the poor starving citizens of Folkestone after local branch of McDonald's doesn't open for breakfast

Tell me there's a Gregg's nearby. There's got to be a Gregg's to feed these poor bastards.

Spotter's Badge: Amanda

Mystery damp patch dullness

Maidenhead Advertiser: Damp patch on village green fenced off

Better safe that sorry. Ghost shark, and all that.

Spotter's Badge: Suzi

'I'm not really a welder you know' dullness

Chosun Ilbo (South Korea): Buy these swimming goggles

No wonder Kim Jong-un wants to start a war

Spotter's Badge: Theodore Wirth

Bouncing bomb tribute dullness

Chorley Guardian: Local council nerks can't spell Barnes Wallis

FACT: His son Barnes Wallis Jr was my maths teacher. He was a 'character'.

Cash machine dullness

Falmouth Packet: New cash machine for Penryn town centre

I'm down there next week, I'll check it out*

And yes, the entire town centre is built at an angle.

*No I won't

Deep hole dullness

Burton Mail: Is this the deepest pothole in Burton?

It's street rabbits, those double-hard bastards.

Spotter's Badge: Helen

Henley-on-Thames dull double bill

Henley Standard: Whitchurch allotments get new iron gates

And if that wasn't enough excitement...

Henley Standard: Henley Library gets new phone number

It's 0898 555-BOOKS

Charity shop dullness

Rugby Advertiser: Now is a good time to buy books, says charity shop which has many books

FACT: All charity shops must, by law, stock The Da Vinci Code, the 50 Shades trilogy (parts 2 and 3 unread) and an All Saints CD. Inspectors are at large.

Spotter's Badge: Rob R

End of an era dullness

Somerset Live: Live blog as Yeovil branch of BHS closes forever

Panic - I say - PANIC on the streets of Yeovil.

Spotter's Badge: Darren

Chip shop dullness

Dover Express: New chip shop to open in Dover

"Shall I go out and get a picture?"

"Nah, I've got a photo of some chips."

"Sorted"

Spotter's Badge: Susan

Hole in the hedge dullness

Derbyshire Times: Who is going to fill Mrs Handbury's hole?

Form a queue.

Spotter's Badge: Gareth, Joel

Waitrose cafe dullness

Oxford Times: Eye-wateringly detailed review of the Waitrose Cafe in the Oxford Botley Road branch

Spoiler: They didn't like it

Spotter's Badge: Richard

South Korean shopping dullness

Seoul Chosun Ilbo: Shoppers look at fans

Good. Well done.

Spotter's Badge: Terry

Street light dullness

Essex Chronicle: We've fixed all those broken street lights, says council

Well done. You've done your job. Are you after a medal or something?

Spotter's Badge: FDP

Another celebrity on holiday in the Lake District dullness

Westmorland Gazette: Richard Madeley visits book shop

Something something sausages not guilty something

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Celebrity on holiday dullness

Westmorland Gazette: Peter Kay visits holiday attraction

Building up to a "Hey! Do you remember holidays?" routine.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Shop opening live blog dullness

South Wales Evening Post: Blow-by-blow account as new branch of Next opens in Swansea

I am reliably informed that it's two doors down from another branch of Next.

Spotter's Badge: Nick

Important council developments dullness

Nuneaton News: Nuneaton and Bedworth Borough Council to upgrade its phone system

"There may be a little bit of disruption"

Spotter's Badge: Rob R

Stolen washing dullness

Hebrides News: Washing stolen

Some washing. It was stolen.

Spotter's Badge: Eoghann

Tree falls over dullness

Salisbury Journal: Tree falls over

A tree. It fell over.

Spotter's Badge: Chinnyhill

Stuck dog dullness

Scunthorpe Telegraph: Dog stuck on window ledge

There's a happy ending to this one - it's still there!

Spotter's Badge: Robin

History of Bexhill's postal services dullness

Bexhill Observer: Walk follows the 500-year history of Bexhill's postal services

"In 1501, there was no postal service in Bexhill"
"In 1502, there was no postal service in Bexhill"
"In 1503, there was no postal service in Bexhill"
"In 1504, there was no postal service in Bexhill"

Two hours later...

"In 1816, there was no postal service in Bexhill"
"In 1817, there was no postal service in Bexhill"
"In 1818, there was a postal service in Bexhill"

Spotter's Badge: Christina

Spandau Ballet dullness

Burnley Express: That one from the Spands who isn't Hadley or one of the Kemps absolutely gutted that music festival has been cancelled

"I am absolutely gutted that the festival has been cancelled," he says.

Stuck dog dullness

Southern Daily Echo: Puppy stuck in chair

Happy ending: Chair has nice new cushion.

Popular dog dullness

Dover Express: Man claims he has the post popular dog in Dover

That's fighting talk, that is.

Spotter's Badge: Nevbo

Rock star cat dullness

Eastern Daily Press: Bloke out of The Darkness gets his cat back

Aww, bless.

Dog egg dullness

Westmorland Gazette: Dog does a poo

Loving the local council's reaction to this: Bothered?

Spotter's Badge: Simon

Farming Dullness

From the Lisburn Advertiser

I know the answer to this one! It's "I don't care"

Spotter's Badge: Michael

Bolton man shops in Bolton dullness

Bolton News: Paddy McGuinness - who is from Bolton - spotted shopping in Bolton

#SadnessInHisEyes

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Chicken cloud dullness

Lincolnshire Echo: Cloud looks like a chicken

They're right. It does.

Spotter's Badge: Nick

Local cat makes good dullness

Watford Observer: Cat from Watford to appear in advert

Scott Jefferson, marketing director at Pets at Home said the sponsorship ident has been created by them to celebrate the unique relationship UK pet owners have with their pets. 

How terribly exciting for you.

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Bourne Civic Society dullness

Rutland and Stamford Mercury: Bourne Civic Society and Bourne Preservation Society merge

That just leaves the Bourne Preservation Trust out there on their own. Splitters.

Grass cutting dullness

Ledbury Reporter: Your one and only warning - they are cutting the grass on roundabouts at Ross-on-Wye

Plan your journey accordingly.

Missing weasel dullness

Craven Herald: Missing weasel comes back

Argh! Take it away again!

Spotter's Badge: Tim

Not the Queen dullness

Western Gazette: Rubbish Queen lookalike attends fete

Looks NOTHING like Freddie Mercury

Spotter's Badge: Chris

Picture framing dullness

Nottingham Post: Picture framer achieves the Guild of Commended Framers Advanced Accreditation in conservation framing

I suppose he gets a nice certificate he can frame.

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Grill pan fire dullness

Runcorn and Widnes World: Grill pan fire

"Crews used a fan to clear smoke from the property."

It's always about the details, you know.

Felt a bit of a prick dullness

Hull Daily Mail: "I've had a cactus needle stuck in my finger for 20 years"

Cool story bro, tell it again

Spotter's Badge: L0wey

Lost shoe dullness

Manchester Evening News: Woman loses shoe

"I am never going to drink again"

Spotter's Badge: Andy

Holes in Basingstoke dullness

Basingstoke Gazette: Two holes appear in Basingstoke

It's hardly The Beatles' Day in the Life, is it?

Eighteenth birthday dullness

Kent Online: Girl turns 18, drinks alcohol for the first time

Next week, Kent Online follows a student as he tries his first heroin.

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Crow dullness

Stourbridge News: Crow trapped on top of TV aerial

Standard happy ending: They ate it.

Spotter's Badge: Tim

Fly invasion dullness

Derby Telegraph: Live blog as Derby is taken over by flies

At last, that raw fish finger I hid there back in 1988 is paying off.

Spotter's Badge: Skuds

Beefy dullness

Northampton Chronicle: Farm buys new bull

He is called Ernie Big Bollocks*.

*Lie

Spotter's Badge: Mike