Goat dullness

Stourbridge News: Goat on the loose

Spotter's Badge: Tim

Cows dullness

Eastern Daily Press: Police trying to move cows

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Phone box dullness

Henley Standard: Gold phone box is now red again

Thank God for that.

Library dullness

Evesham Observer: Library re-opens

Spotter's Badge: Len

Haunted House Question To Which The Answer Is No

Rugby Advertiser: Does picture prove house is haunted?

No.

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Hot potato dullness

Beds on Sunday: Fire brigade called over hot potato

Lunch eventually cancelled

Spotter's Badge: @Orangeaurochs

Exploding tea towel weirdness

Brighton Argus: EXPLODING TEA TOWELS

Spotter's Badge: Christina

Kettle search dullness

East Grinstead Courier: Council fails in search for new kettle for village hall

There are no winners in this story. None at all.

Spotter's Badge: James

Swan seen in shop dullness

Nottingham Post: Swan goes shopping

"Got any bread, chief?"

Spotter's Badge: Bryony

Big lorry dullness

Bristol Post: Big lorry comes to small town

That is, indeed, a lorry.

Road sign dullness

Edinburgh News: Workers put up sign in the wrong place

With actual video of the CHAOS

Spotter's Badge: Chris

Royal Mail dullness

Colchester Gazette: Postmen get new delivery routes

My God. Our bin day changed from Tuesday to Friday this week. THESE ARE END TIMES, PEOPLE

Spotter's Badge: @pokesqueak

Crime of the century dullness

Surrey Mirror: Ornamental frog stolen

It had better be made out of solid gold or heroin or something if the police and the press are involved

Spotter's Badge: Christina

Dead ducks dullness

Milngavie Herald: Dead ducks aren't ducks

Glad that's sorted

Spotter's Badge: Count Otto Black

Whist club dullness

Henley Standard: Whist club looking for members

Well... what are you waiting for?

Supermarket dullness

Worcester News: Supermarket running Cillit Bang promotion

HI I'M BARRY SCOTT

Spotter's Badge: Bozza

Road sign dullness

Henley Standard: Road sign 'out of date'

But what if a bus uses the road by mistake? CHAOS.

Corporate Christmas dullness

Bristol Post: Coca-Cola Christmas lorry coming to Bristol

It is November.

I see your corporate press release disguised as news and claim my free bottle of gut-rot.

Spotter's Badge: Louise

Lost shoes dullness

Scunthorpe Telegraph: Shoes spotted on telegraph wires

AAAARGH GANGS!*

*Probably not gangs

Normal for Norfolk dullness

Lynn News: Sugar beet contest

"...followed by a talk on sugar beet development by Colin MacEwan, who is the head of British Beet Research Organisation"

Not to be missed.

Local history dullness

Lancashire Telegraph: Talk on the history of Clitheroe

"Mr del Strother is the author of History of Ribblesdale Cement, which was published in 2008."

Oh. My. GOD.

Punched in the face weirdness

Northampton Chronicle:Girl dressed as a chicken punched in the face by boy outside Northampton discount store

Ta-da!

Spotter's Badge: Count Otto Black

Long service dullness

Eastern Daily Press: Man works in shop for a long time

...gets a certificate

Spotter's Badge: Count Otto Black

Church organ dullness

Halifax Courier: 24 hour church organ marathon

Look! Hipsters!

Spotter's Badge: Ross

UFO dullness

Bracknell Forest Standard: Are these UFOs over Bracknell?

No.

Spotter's Badge: Count Otto Black

Bus shelter dullness

Henley Standard: News bus shelter

They'll be dancing on the streets of Sonning Common, hip replacements or not.

PR Job dullness

Bournemouth Echo: Man gets job

Well done.

Celebrity dullness

Coventry Telegraph: Jimmy Carr spotted in a shop

Glad to see the rich and famous not losing touch

Spotter's Badge: Rob

UFO dullness

Watford Observer: Is this a UFO hovering over Watford?

No.

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Car showroom dullness

Bournemouth Echo: Car dealership doing quite well

...says press release from car dealership.

Law company dullness

Somerset County Gazette: Law company unveils new logo

Students of press releases will notice the first quote arriving in the fourth paragraph. Textbook stuff.

Spotter's Badge: Neil