Salisbury Journal: Man won't come down from tree
They've fenced him off and left him there.
Spotter's Badge: Shock and Laur
Thursday 31 December 2015
Wednesday 30 December 2015
Storm Frank dullness
Plymouth Herald: Storm Frank causes chaos* in Plymouth
*Blows wendy house over
Lighting a candle for the poor people of Plymouth in their hour of need.
Spotter's Badge: Marjorie
*Blows wendy house over
Lighting a candle for the poor people of Plymouth in their hour of need.
Spotter's Badge: Marjorie
Ricky Gervais dullness
Watford Observer: Ricky Gervais spotted in Watford
Watford, eh? Slough not good enough for him?
Spotter's Badge: TRT
Watford, eh? Slough not good enough for him?
Spotter's Badge: TRT
Tuesday 29 December 2015
Damaged bench dullness
Derbyshire Times: 'CRIME' stock graphic wheeled out as bench damaged in Chesterfield
That's saying "Yeah, it's a story, but not worth sending someone out with a camera"
Spotter's Badge: Kerry
That's saying "Yeah, it's a story, but not worth sending someone out with a camera"
Spotter's Badge: Kerry
Monday 28 December 2015
Sunday 27 December 2015
Second class stamp dullness
Littlehampton Gazette: Is there a second class stamp shortage in Sussex?
The correct answer is "who cares"
Spotter's Badge: Richard
The correct answer is "who cares"
Spotter's Badge: Richard
Saturday 26 December 2015
Determined rail enthusiast dullness
Bolton News: Man gets up stupidly early so he can be the first paying passenger through new tunnel
...all described in eye-watering detail, right down to the completely nonplussed reaction of the driver. A masterpiece of dull news.
Spotter's Badge: Karen
...all described in eye-watering detail, right down to the completely nonplussed reaction of the driver. A masterpiece of dull news.
Spotter's Badge: Karen
Friday 25 December 2015
Disabled parking bays dullness
Henley Standard: Henley could get two new disabled parking bays
What the hell are you doing here? Christmas so dull that you're looking at dull news? I scheduled this post over a week ago, and am now face down in my own vomit.
Happy Christmas.
What the hell are you doing here? Christmas so dull that you're looking at dull news? I scheduled this post over a week ago, and am now face down in my own vomit.
Happy Christmas.
Thursday 24 December 2015
Selfie dullness
Lancashire Telegraph: Man takes 200 selfies a week
TIP: Try facing the camera the other way.
Spotter's Badge: Karen
TIP: Try facing the camera the other way.
Spotter's Badge: Karen
Wednesday 23 December 2015
Biggins socks dullness
Nottingham Post: Biggins judges festive sock competition
Poor Biggins. The things you have to do to shift panto tickets.
Poor Biggins. The things you have to do to shift panto tickets.
Tuesday 22 December 2015
Dull bread dullness
Hackney Gazette: Bread has an image problem, bread conference hears
If only One Direction would eat bread, them bread's problems will be solved. Bread.
Spotter's Badge: Kevin
If only One Direction would eat bread, them bread's problems will be solved. Bread.
Spotter's Badge: Kevin
Monday 21 December 2015
Travelodge press release disguised as news
Hull Daily Mail: Hull Travelodge staff describe strange customer requests
Yorkshire Post: Harrogate Travelodge staff describe strange customer requests
Eastern Daily Press: Norwich Travelodge staff describe strange customer requests
Halifax Courier: Halifax Travelodge staff describe strange customer requests
Gloucestershire Echo: Cheltenham and Gloucester Travelodge staff describe strange customer requests
Glasgow Evening Times: Glasgow Travelodge staff describe strange customer requests
Isle of Wight County Press: Ryde Travelodge staff describe strange customer requests
Aberdeen Press and Journal: Aberdeen Travelodge staff describe strange customer requests
...plus a million other local papers carrying the same story. Well played Travelodge Press Office, well played.
Yorkshire Post: Harrogate Travelodge staff describe strange customer requests
Eastern Daily Press: Norwich Travelodge staff describe strange customer requests
Halifax Courier: Halifax Travelodge staff describe strange customer requests
Gloucestershire Echo: Cheltenham and Gloucester Travelodge staff describe strange customer requests
Glasgow Evening Times: Glasgow Travelodge staff describe strange customer requests
Isle of Wight County Press: Ryde Travelodge staff describe strange customer requests
Aberdeen Press and Journal: Aberdeen Travelodge staff describe strange customer requests
...plus a million other local papers carrying the same story. Well played Travelodge Press Office, well played.
Sunday 20 December 2015
Stuck lorry dullness
Salisbury Journal: Lorry stuck under low bridge
This story contains the dullest ten seconds of news video you are ever likely to see in your life.
Spotter's Badge: Shock and Laur
This story contains the dullest ten seconds of news video you are ever likely to see in your life.
Spotter's Badge: Shock and Laur
Saturday 19 December 2015
Christmas tree dullness
Falmouth Packet: Is this the biggest school Christmas tree in the Falmouth area?
Who knows? WHO EVEN KNOWS.
Who knows? WHO EVEN KNOWS.
Friday 18 December 2015
Morrisons mistletoe press release disguised as news
The Morrisons supermarket PR department has done it again. Just Google "to get the town kissing" and you get the message...
Swindon Advertiser: Morrisons in Swindon gives out free mistletoe to get the town kissing
Southport Visitor: Morrisons in Ormskirk gives out free mistletoe to get the town kissing
St Helens Star: Morrisons in St Helens gives out free mistletoe to get the town kissing
Kidderminster Shuttle: Morrisons in Kidderminster gives out free mistletoe to get the town kissing
Somerset County Gazette: Morrisons in Taunton gives out free mistletoe to get the town kissing
Wirral Globe: Morrisons in West Kirby gives out free mistletoe to get the town kissing
...etc etc etc and a million other stories.
Swindon Advertiser: Morrisons in Swindon gives out free mistletoe to get the town kissing
Southport Visitor: Morrisons in Ormskirk gives out free mistletoe to get the town kissing
St Helens Star: Morrisons in St Helens gives out free mistletoe to get the town kissing
Kidderminster Shuttle: Morrisons in Kidderminster gives out free mistletoe to get the town kissing
Somerset County Gazette: Morrisons in Taunton gives out free mistletoe to get the town kissing
Wirral Globe: Morrisons in West Kirby gives out free mistletoe to get the town kissing
...etc etc etc and a million other stories.
Quiz league dullness
Oxford Mail: Eye-wateringly dull 623-word blow-by-blow round-up from the Oxford Pubs quiz league
Warning: This may sap your will to live.
Warning: This may sap your will to live.
Thursday 17 December 2015
Dull weather dullness
Reading Chronicle: November officially the dullest month ever, say academics
A dull November in Reading. Those poor people.
Spotter's Badge: Steve
A dull November in Reading. Those poor people.
Spotter's Badge: Steve
Wednesday 16 December 2015
Struggling with basic human concepts dullness
Dear the Derby Telegraph, Why oh why oh why are women taking over everywhere?
Quite easily the dullest - and strangest - letter I've seen published by a local newspaper for quite some time.
Here's the whole thing, in case it disappears from the internet:
"I notice that more and more in life, and in fiction, there seem to be more women in the church taking the place of the vicar.
This is also happening on allotments, with more women taking on allotments than men. Why? I do not have the answer."
Quite easily the dullest - and strangest - letter I've seen published by a local newspaper for quite some time.
Here's the whole thing, in case it disappears from the internet:
"I notice that more and more in life, and in fiction, there seem to be more women in the church taking the place of the vicar.
This is also happening on allotments, with more women taking on allotments than men. Why? I do not have the answer."
Deep stuff.
Tuesday 15 December 2015
Coffee and milkshakes dullness
Northampton Chronicle: Restaurant now serving coffee and milkshakes
"We are trying to do drinks that you can’t get elsewhere in Kettering"
YOU CAN'T GET COFFEE ANYWHERE ELSE IN KETTERING
Spotter's Badge: Mike
Monday 14 December 2015
Sunday 13 December 2015
Narrow boat dullness
Worcester News: Narrow boat runs amok in Worcester
This is what Speed would have looked like if filmed in the English Midlands.
Spotter's Badge: Tim
This is what Speed would have looked like if filmed in the English Midlands.
Spotter's Badge: Tim
Saturday 12 December 2015
Stuck on lamp post dullness
South Wales Argus: Man gets legs stuck on lamp post
While I can only congratulate the extra mile gone to track down the exact lamp post on Street View, this story lacks a vital ingredient: How the **** did he get stuck in the first place?
While I can only congratulate the extra mile gone to track down the exact lamp post on Street View, this story lacks a vital ingredient: How the **** did he get stuck in the first place?
Friday 11 December 2015
Chess dullness
Worcester News: School holds chess congress
As a veteran of several school chess congresses, I can confirm that this is about as dull as news gets.
As a veteran of several school chess congresses, I can confirm that this is about as dull as news gets.
Thursday 10 December 2015
Arm stuck in letterbox dullness
Bournemouth Echo: Man gets arm stuck in letterbox
Photo is handily captioned "File image", just in case readers thought that might be the actual letterbox in question.
Photo is handily captioned "File image", just in case readers thought that might be the actual letterbox in question.
Wednesday 9 December 2015
Hits the fan dullness
Eastern Daily Press: Manure tipped over the A11 in tractor accident
Norfolk, everybody.
Spotter's Badge: Dave
Norfolk, everybody.
Spotter's Badge: Dave
Tuesday 8 December 2015
Pizza restaurant dullness
Stoke Sentinel: Pizza Express to open in Stoke on Trent
This news is so important, even the local MP is excited.
This news is so important, even the local MP is excited.
Monday 7 December 2015
Renegade 'For Sale' sign dullness
Clitheroe Advertisers: Fire fighters called to deal with 'dangerous' For Sale sign
It's a joke I often use on these pages, but I'm told by our spotter this genuinely IS the most exciting thing ever to have happened in Clitheroe since the shock when discovered the world "clit" in their name.
Spotter's Badge: Karen
It's a joke I often use on these pages, but I'm told by our spotter this genuinely IS the most exciting thing ever to have happened in Clitheroe since the shock when discovered the world "clit" in their name.
Spotter's Badge: Karen
Sunday 6 December 2015
Take Me Out Dullness
Bolton News: Local celebrity poses with local paper
That Jimmy Choo bloke gets everywhere
Spotter's Badge: Karen
That Jimmy Choo bloke gets everywhere
Spotter's Badge: Karen
Saturday 5 December 2015
Shoddy road markings dullness
Aldershot News and Mail: Just look at the state of that
This counts as interesting in Aldershot, there are crowds there RIGHT NOW.
This counts as interesting in Aldershot, there are crowds there RIGHT NOW.
Friday 4 December 2015
Thursday 3 December 2015
Recycling centre opening times dullness
Wymondham and Attleborough Mercury: We all remember where we were the day Ashill recycling centre opened two hours late
I remember only too well. I was nowhere near Ashill and not giving a shit.
Spotter's Badge: Dave
I remember only too well. I was nowhere near Ashill and not giving a shit.
Spotter's Badge: Dave
Wednesday 2 December 2015
Giant sprouts press release disguised as news
Congratulations to the press team at Morrisons supermarket who prove they are the best in the world at hitting the target with a press release:
Northampton Chronicle: Giant sprouts coming to a supermarket near you
One MK: Giant sprouts coming to a supermarket near you
Worthing Herald: Giant sprouts coming to a supermarket near you
Portsmouth News: Giant sprouts coming to a supermarket near you
Falkirk Herald: Giant sprouts coming to a supermarket near you
Skegness Standard: Giant sprouts coming to a supermarket near you
Falmouth Packet: Giant sprouts coming to a supermarket near you
And a Google search implores me to "Explore 76 more articles". Well played, Morrisons. Well played.
Spotter's Badge: Mike
Northampton Chronicle: Giant sprouts coming to a supermarket near you
One MK: Giant sprouts coming to a supermarket near you
Worthing Herald: Giant sprouts coming to a supermarket near you
Portsmouth News: Giant sprouts coming to a supermarket near you
Falkirk Herald: Giant sprouts coming to a supermarket near you
Skegness Standard: Giant sprouts coming to a supermarket near you
Falmouth Packet: Giant sprouts coming to a supermarket near you
And a Google search implores me to "Explore 76 more articles". Well played, Morrisons. Well played.
Spotter's Badge: Mike
Tuesday 1 December 2015
Your online source of dull Peter Andre news
Bexley News Shopper: Pete spotted filming in Sidcup, loves his kids
It's safe now. He's gone.
Spotter's Badge: Neil
It's safe now. He's gone.
Spotter's Badge: Neil
Monday 30 November 2015
Even more Peter Andre dullness
Shropshire Star: Pete turns on Christmas lights, loves his kids
They spelled "TWAT" wrong.
BEWARE: Story contains a gallery featuring a brain-freezing 19 photographs from Telford's highlight of the year.
They spelled "TWAT" wrong.
BEWARE: Story contains a gallery featuring a brain-freezing 19 photographs from Telford's highlight of the year.
Saturday 28 November 2015
Friday 27 November 2015
Dave Benson Phillips dullness
Worthing Herald: CBeebies star apologises for scaring kids with balloon
Apology accepted, now get out there and make balloon animals like you've never done before.
Spotter's Badge: Richard
Apology accepted, now get out there and make balloon animals like you've never done before.
Spotter's Badge: Richard
Thursday 26 November 2015
Star Wars dullness
Bolton News: Fans dress up as popular characters to Star Wars video game in released in the middle of the night
Popular characters? Star Wars is a vampire movie now?
Spotter's Badge: Karen
Popular characters? Star Wars is a vampire movie now?
Spotter's Badge: Karen
Wednesday 25 November 2015
Tuesday 24 November 2015
Producer-puncher dullness
Bath Chronicle: Has Jeremy Clarkson been seen in Bath?
I know the answer to this one! "Who gives a shit?"
I know the answer to this one! "Who gives a shit?"
Monday 23 November 2015
Christmas Tree dullness
Llanelli Star: Christmas tree is somewhat smaller than expected
And here they come - the rubbish Christmas tree stories.
And here they come - the rubbish Christmas tree stories.
Sunday 22 November 2015
East Anglia animal dullness double bill
East Anglia Daily Times: Rubbish squirrel stuck up telegraph pole
East Anglia Daily Times: Kitten gets stuck
Animals: RUBBISH.
Spotter's Badge: Dave
East Anglia Daily Times: Kitten gets stuck
Animals: RUBBISH.
Spotter's Badge: Dave
Saturday 21 November 2015
Asda Christmas advert dullness
Watford Observer: Watford nightclub appears in advert
Think about it: A night out in Watford. Party.
Spotter's Badge: TRT
Think about it: A night out in Watford. Party.
Spotter's Badge: TRT
Friday 20 November 2015
Grass cutting dullness
Eastern Daily Press: Norfolk on the verge of decision on cutting of roadside grass
Verge. Verge. GEDDIT?!?!
Verge. Verge. GEDDIT?!?!
Thursday 19 November 2015
Wednesday 18 November 2015
Tuesday 17 November 2015
Monday 16 November 2015
Estate agent dullness
Ham and High: Belsize born and bred, this NW3 agent knows how much the area has to offer
Which is basically "very expensive houses"
Spotter's Badge: Gaz
Which is basically "very expensive houses"
Spotter's Badge: Gaz
Sunday 15 November 2015
House party dullness
Warrington Guardian: PCSOs break up party, confiscate booze
By the look of things, they busted a right stormer.
By the look of things, they busted a right stormer.
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