Step aside Henley-on-Thames, there's a new Capital City of Dullness

Ladies and gentlemen, we give you Ross-on-Wye.

Hereford Times: New bollard (Story since removed)

Hereford Times: Boy gets stuck

Hereford Times: Author speaks about his time as a B&B owner

Hereford Times: Tree catches fire

Hereford Times: Dog stuck

Hereford Times: Celebrating 50 years of the M50 motorway

Hereford Times: Cabbage

Ross-on-Wye --- we are watching you.

Spotter's Badge First Class: Count Otto Black

Paint job dullness

Stamford Mercury: Shop is too bright

Paint it grey, NOW, and CONFORM, you bourgeois dogs.

Spotter's Badge: Count Otto Black

Misprint dullness

Kidderminster Shuttle: Misprint found on map

Having been to Stourport, I can honestly say this is possibly the most exciting thing that's ever happened there.

Spotter's Badge: Count Otto Black

Pottery collection dullness

Hemsworth and South Elmshall Express: Man honoured for collecting pottery

Smashing.

Nando's dullness

Manchester Evening News: Man filming a TV series in Manchester seen eating food in Manchester

In summary: Food is available in Manchester

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Business dullness

Bournemouth Echo: Networking lunch

An absolute must if you're a small to medium business in the Christchurch area of Dorset and you haven't been flooded to buggery.

Floral dullness

Dorset Echo: Flower arranging course

Not just a flower arranging course, a flower arranging course in Prince Charles's model village.

Hedge dullness

Henley Standard: Hedges overgrown

To liven things up, here's a hedge round the corner from my house that looks exactly like footballer Mario Balotelli.

Hey! Let's check out the White Rose Shopping Centre, we haven't been there in a while dullness

Yorkshire Evening Post: Fire alarm goes off

Morley Observer: Emo Philips tribute act proposes marriage

Yep, still dull.

Spotter's Badge: Adam

Potato dullness

Dorset Echo: Potato Day celebrations

YAY! Potato Day!

Paxman dullness

Henley Standard: Local celebrity shaves off beard

A complete reversal of this earlier story. Get a grip of your facial hair, man.

Worcester: City of Dullness

Worcester News: Two trapped in bathroom

Eyebrows raised - getting trapped in the khazi is usually a solitary pursuit

Worcester News: Washing machine fire goes out

Worcester News: Indoor car boot sale

Malvern Gazette: Slight disagreement over wheelie bins 

Spotter's Badge: Bozza, Count Otto Black

Her Royal Dullness

Northampton Chronicle: Queen looks at window

It's times like this that I really feel sorry for her.

Spotter's Badge: Mike

Blueberry pricing dullness

Worcester News: Man spots supermarket pricing error

...and explains it in detail over an excruciating 11 paragraphs

Spotter's Badge: Bozza

Locked out dullness

Reading Post: Woman locked out of house

With no immediate solution available, she's now living in the shed

Tree dullness

Henley Standard: Tree stolen

Picture shows what a tree may look like.

Crap Christmas lights dullness

Carrick Today: Town's Christmas lights are dull

I'm a bit late to the party on this one. Err... Happy Christmas!

Spotter's Badge: Len

Drunken sailor dullness

Hartlepool Mail: Drunken sailor arrested

Police appeal for information: What do we do with him?

Spotter's Badge: Stevens

Sunrise dullness

South Wales Evening Post: Sun comes up over Swansea

A rare event, indeed

Bracelet question to which the answer is 'No'

Morley Observer: Have you lost a bracelet in Asda?

No.

Egg dullness

Royston Crow: Man finds egg the same shape as his head, sells it on eBay

Couldn't be bothered to read the story, but I think those are the facts

Spotter's Badge: Count Otto Black

Church theft dullness

Warrington Guardian: Biscuits stolen

Also some things that are not biscuits, but that would spoil the story

Spotter's Badge: Eurovicious

Local heritage dullness

Essex Echo: Local council realises it's a bit dull

That awful moment of self-awareness

Spotter's Badge: Count Otto Black

Swimming pool dullness

Henley Standard: Swimming pool gets double glazed windows

BLAM - Henley moves into the 20th Century

Bigfoot Question To Which The Answer Is NO

Dundee Courier: Has a Bigfoot been spotted in Scotland?

No.

Spotter's Badge: Count Otto Black

Boyband singer dullness

Gloucester Citizen: Boyband singer buys a book

A book! With his mum!

James Bond dullness

Oxford Mail: Somebody from the James Bond films finds out she is distantly related to somebody called James Bond

BREAKING NEWS

Prince Harry dullness

Reading Post: Prince Harry visits pub

Good. Good for him.

Crime of the century dullness

Barry and District News: Doormat stolen

"It had welcome on it, but it didn’t mean you are welcome to it."

Spotter's Badge: Nick

Cuddly toy dullness

Reading Post: Woman has sudden moment of realisation, notices she's got too many cuddly toys

Porbably making room for more cats

Bournemouth epic dullness double bill

Bournemouth Echo: Steak and Kidney pie destroyed

and

Bournemouth Echo: Tea towel catches fire

An epic day at the Local Newspaper of the Year

Spotter's Badge: Sue

Pig dullness

Lancashire Telegraph: Pig escapes

Some of the worst pig-based punnery you will ever read,

Spotter's Badge: Karen