Dirty old town dullness

Llanelli Star: A series of photographs showing litter on the streets of Llanelli

And if that doesn't inspire you to get off your sofa and set fire to the world, nothing will.

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Freecycle dullness

Essex Chronicle: Pair of slippers offered on Freecycle

It's all happening in Chelmsford. Hey... wait... I'm a size nine.

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Morrison's playlist press release disguised as news

MK Web: Morrison's expands its in-store playlist to 9,000 songs due to local customer demand

Hampshire Chronicle: Morrison's expands its in-store playlist to 9,000 songs due to local customer demand

Folkestone Herald: Morrison's expands its in-store playlist to 9,000 songs due to local customer demand

Westmorland Gazette: Morrison's expands its in-store playlist to 9,000 songs due to local customer demand

Another strong performance by the Morrison's PR department. Well played.

Park bench dullness

South Wales Argus: Park bench moved

By far the most exciting thing to have happened in Abergavenny for years.

Hipster bike dullness

Cambridge News: Penny-farthing seen on road to Cambridge

The hipsters have escaped from London! Everybody hide!

Spotter's Badge: Kate

Boxing dullness

Southern Daily Echo: Casino to show boxing match

"Hey, you're going to be up all night watching this - why not let us take all your money while you wait?"

Spotter's Badge: Adam

Old lamp dullness

Exeter Express and Echo: Old street lamp to be restored

Any excuse to mention my favourite dull website. You will not be disappointed.

Car dealership press release disguised as news

Lancashire Telegraph: Car dealership gets new boss

Wait... isn't that Gary Barlow?

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Crisp dullness

Bournemouth Echo: Crisp looks a bit like a human skull, says man with too much time on his hands

No. No it doesn't.

Spotter's Badge: Moonbootica

Bin fire dullness

Colchester Gazette: Bin catches fire

The cause of the fire is unknown, although a passing chemist says it is almost certainly to do with the rapid oxygenation of flammable materials.

Spotter's Badge: Alice

Didn't move house dullness

Reading Post: Man has lived in the same road for fifty years

It turns out the only reason he never moved was because somebody had tied him to the street sign.

Box factory press release disguised as news

Leamington Courier: Box factory - get this - is thinking OUTSIDE THE BOX

FACT: The only companies that are legally allowed to publish 'Thinking outside the box' press releases are funeral directors

Spotter's Badge: Rob R

Ill-advised Ebay purchase dullness

Manchester Evening News: Woman buys something off Ebay

You and me both. I got a giant stuffed rabbit AND I DON'T KNOW WHY

Spotter's Badge: Charlotte

Missile dullness

Lancashire Telegraph: Missile launched at house in Clitheroe

A story which promised so much, yet delivered so little.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Duck dullness

Dorset Echo: Duck spotted in garden

Local knowledge: Probably something to do with the LARGE DUCK POND just around the corner.

Accountancy press release disguised as news

Leamington Courier: Accountancy company's tax division gets bigger

It's going to have to. Picture shown actual size.

Spotter's Badge: Rob R

One Direction Dullness Revisted

Northampton Chronicle: Drummer from One Direction picks up his new car FROM NORTHAMPTON

How could he? How could he at a time when we're all crying about Zayn?

Here he is in the Chronicle buying the car. Hopefully there'll be full coverage when he brings it in for its first service.

Spotter's Badge: Mike

Facebook page dullness

Bournemouth Echo: Ringwood Town Council gets Facebook page, still scared of Twitter

Home of the longest continuous traffic jam in the world, now in its 17th year

There's only one Facebook page that counts: OURS

Air con dullness

Basingstoke Gazette: Newsagent plans new air conditioning

It's the kind of witchery that could get him run out of Odiham

Cake dullness

Coventry Telegraph: British Embassy staff like cakes sent from Coventry

"Thank God," said the official despatch from Our Man In Bangkok, "We opened the box praying it wasn't more bloody Fererro Rochers."

Spotter's Badge: Robert

Tea towel dullness

Malvern Gazette: Tea towels catch fire

There are no longer any tea towels in Malvern. Send your gift of love through any decent charity shop to help these poor wretches with their damp crockery.

Spotter's Badge: Sarah

Nando's dullness

Cambridge News: New items on menu at Nando's in Cambridge

A story duplicated in every local newspaper where they have a branch, I dare say. Well done, Nando's PR department

Spotter's Badge: Kate

Henley Estate agent dullness double bill

Henley Standard: Estate agent is on online review site

Translation: Please leave us nice reviews

 Also...

Henley Standard: Estate agent wins award

A level three technical award, no less. WELL DONE.

Stuck cat dullness

Lancashire Telegraph: Cat stuck behind fitted wardrobe

Advised that they would have to dismantle the wardrobe to rescue the feline, everybody thought it best just to leave it there, and move house before the smell took over

Spotter's Badge: Karen

One Direction dullness

The National (Abu Dhabi): With no other news to report, here's a picture we drew of Harry Styles eating a banana

An uncanny likeness, we're sure you'll agree.

TRIGGER WARNING --- Item contains the phrase: "I’ve always had a strange fear of spoons."

Best fungus in Norfolk dullness

Eastern Daily Press: No idea

...but probably running for UKIP* in Cromer.

* Other political parties are available, and may also be represented by fungus on the North Norfolk coast.

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Best Beard in Norkfolk dullness

Eastern Daily Press: Hipster grows beard

Well done. Now shave that ridiculous thing off.

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Wardrobe Winner dullness

Westmorland Gazette: Woman wears clothes

We have no idea what's actually going on here, except for the fact that this woman is wearing clothes.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Cheapo crisps anger

Cambridge News: Man finds potato in bag of crisps

Aldi.

Spotter's Badge: Kate

Granny on wheels weirdness

Bexley News Shopper: This happened

Nope, I've no idea either.

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Jeremy Clarkson desperate local angle

Cheddar Valley Gazette: Jeremy Clarkson not present when Top Gear filmed a segment in the Cheddar Gorge involving a double decker bus two years ago and now he's got the sack

The Curse of the Cheddar Gorge a) has struck again, and b) is something I just made up.

Kent Online: Jeremy Clarkson once filmed Top Gear in Kent and now he's got the sack

AND NOW KENT'S FULL OF UKIP. QED

Spotter's Badge: Neil, Sean