Looks a bit like a celebrity dullness

York Press: Man looks a bit like Keith Lemon

Poor sod

New Town Clerk Dullness

Hemel Today: Tring gets a new town clerk

And a big welcome to the heady cut-and-thrust of hardcore town clerking

Cheering up cancelled dullness

Hemel Today: Event aimed at cheering up people of Hemel Hempstead is cancelled

Not only that, they then deleted the story from their site.

But not so fast! Here's the cached version:

An event aimed at cheering people up in Hemel Hempstead has been cancelled due to bad weather.

Today (Monday, January 21) has been dubbed the most depressing day of the year but Dacorum Borough Council had been planning on handing out free smiles to passers-by in Marlowes,

The smile-inducing workers were also due to hand out flyers featuring 10 reasons to be cheerful in Dacorum from 10am-12noon in the pedestrianised area.

Support local news by visiting the Hemel Today website.

Escaped sheep dullness

Bracknell Forest Standard: Sheep escapes

It's on the Baaaaa-gshot Road

Happy Ending: They killed it and ate it!

Slow slowly melting in Diss Dullness

Eastern Daily Press: Slow slowly melting in Diss

With a picture of what snow slowly melting in Diss might look like

Spotter's Badge: Peter

Police car dullness

Yorkshire Evening Post: Police car gets stuck

Hardly Gene Hunt's Audi Quattro, is it?

Spotter's Badge: Ben

Locked in bedroom dullness

Halifax Courier: Couple locked in bedroom

...who then kicked the door down, if there's any justice in the world

Council vacancy dullness

Driffield Today: Vacancy on Parish council

Sweet Jesus, this could change the entire national balance of power.

Extra public parking space at Royal Mail centre dullness

Hemel Today: One extra public parking space planned for Royal Mail centre

Nostradamus made plenty of rubbish predictions, but he had this one spot on

Warehouse space dullness

 Bracknell Forest Standard: Warehouse space with offices and a service yard NOW AVAILABLE

"We are excited to be able to offer..."

Yeah, whatever floats your boat, mate

Lost parrot dullness

Bridgwater Mercury: Lost parrot is found

Beautiful plumage...

No snow in Great Yarmouth

Eastern Daily Press: No snow in Great Yarmouth

With a picture of no snow in Great Yarmouth

Spotter's Badge: Lyle

Probably not a lion dullness

Bedford Midweek: Dog walker claims she saw a lion

VERY impressed by the artist's impression

Spotter's Badge: Chris

Mirror dullness

Watford Observer: Mirror installed

and the inevitable follow-up...

Watford Observer: Mirror smashed

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Meeting dullness

Scarborough News: Man to speak at meeting

Spotter's Badge: Richard

HMV loyalty card dullness

Basingstoke Gazette: Man set to lose his 100,000 Loyalty Points in HMV collapse

That's £40. Never mind the poor saps out of a job. WHERE ARE MY LOYALTY POINTS?

Spotter's Badge: Ralph

Pigeon rescue dullness

Norwich Evening News: Pigeon rescued
 
Happy Ending! They ate it

Morris dancing dullness

Reading Post: Celebration marks 500 years of Morris dancing in Reading
 
This was the lead story. THE LEAD STORY.

Pig genetics company press release disguised as news

Driffield Today: Company wins award
 
The rest, as they say, is hogwash

Travel agent dullness

Morley Observer: Travel agent is refurbished

For those of you in a hurry to leave the area

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Estate agent dullness

Driffield Today: Hunt on for the best estate agent in Yorkshire

"...which has coined the title of ‘the regional property Oscars’" - Right up to the moment the actual Oscars catch up with them.

Daffo-dullness

Sussex Express: Flowers come out
 
Shit - the Mayans were right after all

Trigger's Broom Dullness

East Grinstead Chronicle and Observer: Woman claims to have had the same broom for 62 years

It's had two new heads and one new stick...

Spotter's Badge: Skuds

Fire in the distance dullness

Norwich Evening News: Something catches fire in Norwich

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Twitter account dullness

Hemel Today: Man starts comedy Twitter account

...proving there's nothing less funny than trying to write about comedy

Millennium baby dullness

Hull Daily Mail: Girl born on January 1st 2000 has a birthday

Congratulations. Well done.

Spotter's Badge: Peter

Stolen ham dullness

Matlock Mercury: Ham stolen

Spotter's Badge: Dan, TV's Al Murray

Burning smell but no fire dullness

 Lynn News: Firefighters can't find fire to fight

Nun uses Twitter dullness

Hull Daily Mail: Nun uses Twitter

Doesn't have a haircut (not) dullness

Gazette Series: Man doesn't cut his hair for a year for charity

A worthwhile cause... but I can't help thinking the 'before' picture is somewhat familiar.

Ah.

Spotter's Badge: Mike

Census results dullness

West Sussex County Times: Census results show Horsham slightly duller than other towns

Spotter's Badge: Skuds

Church in TV soap opera dullness

Watford Observer: Local church appears in EastEnders

Or, in other words: "TV programme filmed in studios near Watford films scenes near Watford"

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Broken crossword dullness

Norwich Evening News: Editor throws himself to his doom from cathedral spire after error in Norwch Evening News crossword puzzle

Good. GOOD. Let us never speak of this again.

Reporter surgery dullness

Morley Observer: No reporter surgery this week

Which comes as a relief, the last thing I want is a journalist wielding a scalpel

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Stolen Meerkat dullness

Halifax Courier: Ornamental meerkats stolen

Honestly, I remember when the gentleman-thief had a bit of taste.

Spotter's Badge: Ross

Bathroom store Dullness

Bournemouth Echo: Bathroom store appoints new designer

"...bringing with him inspirational ideas and a love for opulent colours and clean lines..."

Award-winning toilet dullness

Reading Post: Toilets in Bracknell win award

A platinum award. Wow.

Spotter's Badge: Andrew

Social housing landlord Twitter dullness

Bridgwater Mercury: Local landlord gets Twitter account

...but won't be monitoring it. Nor are they saying where to find it. Well done, everybody.