UFO Mystery Dullness

East Lothian Courier: Is this a UFO flying over Scotland?

No.

Horse gets stuck dullness

This is Exeter: And so does a donkey

The picture above is the actual stock photo used in the story. Stock-picture-tastic!

Spotter's Badge: Heather

Henley-onThames dullness round-up

 Henley Standard: Meeting held over new sign

Also:

Henley Standard: Talk about wood

And:

Henley Standard: Prayers to be held on World Prayer Day

Small Tools Dullness

The Scotsman: Small tools used to rescue boy trapped on bike

In which I become obsessed with dull news stories about the Fire Services featuring the words "small tools"

Bike Shop Dullness

Western Morning News: Bike shop gets new owner

A ha ha ha haaa! That's where you've fallen into my trap. This ISN'T dull because it's my future sister-in-law, and that makes this story EXCITING.

SHAMELESS PLUG

Crocodile in the River Thames weirdness

Reading Post: Is there a crocodile in the River Thames?

No. There isn't

Reading Post: No, really. Is there a crocodile in the River Thames?

No. There isn't

Cliff Richard dullness

York Press: No, really. Stop it.

Spotter's Badge: Liam

Bendy bus dullness

Isle of Man Examiner: Are bendy buses able to negotiate island roads?

We will never know: "You can find out how the bus did  in Monday's Isle of Man Examiner."

Cucumber dullness

Hull Daily News: Hull is cucumber capital of the UK

Spotter's Badge: L0wey

Shopping centre dullness

Morley Observer: Shopping Centre gets new boss

"This is an exciting time for White Rose"

Not for us, it's not

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Broken escalator dullness

Worcester News: Escalator breaks down

The stairs. God, no, NOT THE STAIRS!

Spotter's Badge: Bozza

Cake dullness

Stevenage Advertiser: Woman makes cake

Spotter's Badge: @Russk81

Duck dullness

Watford Observer: Duck spotted at park

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Pigeon flies into shop dullness

Oxford Mail: Pigeon flies into shop

A branch of Gregg's, if you're asking. It's the cheese and bacon puffs

England football team tenuous local angle dullness

Coventry Telegraph: England football team spotted on train that went through Coventry

I will clarify: They didn't get on at Coventry. The train they were on went THROUGH Coventry

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Couple buy house dullness

Driffield Times and Post: Young couple buy house

That's it. Nothing special. Young couple buy house. We hope they're very happy.

Bus driving dullness

Luton Today: Bus driver up for bus driving prize

And he's all yours, ladies

Wind turbine press release disguised as news

Brighouse Echo: Something about wind turbines

Nope, couldn't be arsed to read it.

Spotter's Badge: Ross

Legally parked car dullness

Basingstoke Gazette: Police unable to do anything about legally parked car

And FURY rages in the comments

Third best wedding DJ dullness

Hull Daily Mail: Hull man named third best wedding DJ in the country

Never mind the story - check out the dreadful poem in the comments

TV soap dullness

Watford Observer: Popular TV programme that is filmed in Watford seen filming in Watford

In summary: Walford ...err... Watford

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Stuck in hole dullness

Eastern Daily Press: Boy gets finger stuck in hole

Spotter's Badge: Peter

Farting in court weirdness

This is Grimsby: Nobody found guilty of courtroom fart

Perhaps the finest court reporting on the planet.

Spotter's Badge: Richard, Skuds, Everybody

Knitted celebrities dullness

Reading Post: Reading's celebrities, in wool form

This was the lead story. THE LEAD STORY

(And that's Kate Winslet, by the way)

Jigsaw dullness

Halifax Courier: Church holds jigsaw puzzle day

As I've always said: There's nothing wrong with Halifax. There's always the streets

Spotter's Badge: Ross

Local beauty spot dullness

Selby Times: Local beauty spot gets a fresh lick of paint

This green and pleasant land, eh?

Specsavers press release disguised as news dullness

Hunts Post: Specsavers shop is refurbished

Less of a shop, more of a corridor

Spotter's Badge: James

Electrician dullness

Halifax Courier: Electrician is 17,000th person to get a NICEIC certificate

He said NICEIC accreditation had increased his workload and the site inspections from an area engineer had been a great help and benefit to his businezzzzzz....

Spotter's Badge: Ross

Estate agent press release disguised as news

Rugby Advertiser: Estate agent sells houses

...and the nine year old at the back's loving it

Spotter's Badge: Jamie

One Direction Dullness

Leamington Observer: Harry Styles in Leamington looking for skirt

Can't he use the internet like everybody else?

Spotter's Badge: Jamie

Black and White TV dullness

Exeter Express and Echo: Man has black and white television

Two dulls for the price of one: He's an N-gauge model railway enthusiast