Lorry dullness

Oxford Mail: Lorry doesn't get stuck under bridge

As far as we know, it still isn't stuck under a bridge

Spotter's Badge: Heather

Plant pot fire dullness

Bracknell Forest Standard: Plant pot on fire outside council offices

"Probably a cigarette"

Albino Bird Weirdness

South Wales Evening Post: Rare albino jackdaw found in park

Followed up - inevitably - by:

South Wales Evening Post: Rare albino jackdaw now even rarer

Spotter's Badge: Greta

Bike crime dullness

North Devon Gazette: No-one steals bike

That's because it's shite. Leave a better one next time

Bread dullness

Carmarthen Journal: Bread is 'good for making sandwiches'

Excellent news!

Spotter's Badge: Greta Carbo

New street lamps anger and dullness

Streatham Guardian: Residents dislike new lamp posts

Usually one for Angry People in Local Newspaper, but any excuse to link to this gem of a site: Eastbourne's Street Lighting

Spotter's Badge: Gert

Mystery shed dullness

Hemel Today: Mystery shed visits

In their own words: No caption ABCDE

Dull hobby dullness

Essex Echo: Woman has sudden, awful moment of realisation that she has utterly wasted her life

Bus company dullness

Reading Post: Man gets new job at bus company

Well done. Jolly well done. etc

Not Elton dullness

Newbury Weekly News: Elton John lookalike opens fete

Money-making idea: David Furnish lookalike to hang around with Elton-a-likes

Hold the front page dullness

Dorset Echo: Scrapbooks masterclass

OH WOW

Some people get new jobs dullness

Yorkshire Post: Company promotes some people

Well done. Jolly well done

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Antipodean Auction dullness

Warwick Daily News: Woman buys kitchen scales at auction, says she might paint them

Proof that the Aussies can do dull news as dull as the old country

Alien Cat Queen Weirdness

Northern Echo: Councillor claims to have fathered alien child

No. No he hasn't.

Stuck cow dullness

Reading Post: Cow falls in river

Cow gets out of river

Spotter's Badge: Andrew, Graham, Everybody

Stuck dog dullness

Reading Post: Dog gets stuck in trampoline

Continuing our series of 'pets getting trapped in gym equipment'

Peacock dullness

Wimbledon Guardian: Peacock on the loose

Perhaps the poshest 'Animal on the loose' story ever

Trapped in laundry basket dullness

Brighton Argus: Small boy trapped in laundry basket

Wash at 30C, slow spin, do not iron

False alarm dullness

Dorset Echo: False alarm at Weymouth store

Story includes lengthy discussion whether it is or is not actually a superstore. Consensus: It is not.

Egg dullness

Reading Post: Eggs cause fire

EGG

Overcharging dullness

Rye and Battle Observer: Woman overcharged £4.23 by supermarket

Click through if you want to read a full and frank investigation into how this outrage occured

Spotter's Badge: Richard

Cemetery weirdness

Limerick Leader: Cemetery 'is a death trap' says councillor

Well... duh

We will NEVER STOP posting White Rose Centre Dullness

Morley Observer: Shopping centre that got a new manager and a new retail liaison officer and one of those new-fangled 'coffee shops' that was visited by a celebrity and put its plans for expansion on public display also thinks about getting a new car park and finds its plans overwhelmingly approved by the public

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Trip hazard dullness

Basingstoke Gazette: Work to mend 'trip hazard' parking bays approved

Declaration of interest: My future mother-in-law involved

Fire gone out before the fire brigade gets there dullness

Bracknell Forest Standard: Grill pan fire

Disappointed, they torched the whole house*

*Lie

Stuck dog dullness

Hull Daily Mail: Dog gets stuck

Update: It is no longer stuck

Spotter's Badge: L0wey

Small egg dullness

Peterborough Telegraph: Chicken lays small egg

EGG!

Security van dullness

Bridgwater Mercury: Car alarm goes off in town centre

...nobody does anything

Trapped on the toilet dullness

Eastern Daily Press: Toddler trapped on the toilet

Happy ending: Still there

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Something in the river dullness

Bridgwater Mercury: Something spotted in river

I know what it is: It's dead

Celebrity Dullness

Essex Chronicle: Dom Joly doesn't like Chelmsford

Who does?

Stuck ring dullness

Exeter Express and Echo: Woman gets ring stuck on finger

Happy ending: The ring was removed, along with the offendingdigit