Pig dullness

Brighton Argus: Pig has hayfever

I'd suggest lightly fried in rashers and served with eggs as a cure.

Egg dullness

Luton Today: Something to do with an egg

...but the story has no end, so I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED

Small boy gets stuck dullness

Eastern Daily Press: Small boy gets stuck

Good news! He's still there

Spotter's Badge: Dave

New sign dullness

Somerset Guardian: Business park gets new sign

Also: "No murders for 17 days"

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Big chip dullness

Gloucester Citizen: Woman gets big chip with pub meal, goes to the papers

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Shopping centre summer fun dullness

Morley Observer: Shopping centre that got a new manager and a new retail liaison officer and one of those new-fangled 'coffee shops' that was visited by a celebrity and put its plans for expansion on public display also thinks about getting a new car park and finds its plans overwhelmingly approved by the public, puts on some events for the summer

In memory of our spotter Paul

Woman gets new job dullness (again)

Portsmouth News: Woman gets job

Spotter's Badge: Andrew

Goose dullness

Eastbourne Herald: Geese cross the road

GEESE

Trapped in deckchair dullness

Falmouth Packet: Woman gets stuck in deckchair

...for nine hours

Stuck in lift dullness

Trafford Messenger: Three people stuck in same lift in one day

And that's a file photo of a lift. Not THE lift. A lift.

Spotter's Badge: Gert

Potato theft dullness

Eastern Daily Press: Spud thieves target Norfolk

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Girl gets job dullness

Halifax Courier: Girl lands job

Spotter's Badge: Ross

Seagull-stroke-dog dullness

Plymouth Herald: Fire crew rescues seagull

Plymouth Herald: Dog gets head stuck in railings

Exploding chutney weirdness

Henley Standard: Exploding chutney jar destroys kitchen

No, I don't know why she's looking so chuffed either.

And there's a follow-up:

Henley Standard: Chef denies his chutney caused explosion

...with a recipe for said chutney, if you're a budding terrorist

Spotter's Badge: Andrew, Naz, Marcus

Speelinge mistook dullness

Upper Hutt Leader: Minor spelling mistake on road sign

Cannon? Tell them they're fired

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Notice board dullness

Maidenhead Advertiser: Parish council manages to object to its own plans for a noticeboard

Spotter's Badge: Andrew

Celebrity spot dullness

Bath Chronicle: Liam eats chips

Good. Good for him

Spotter's Badge: Adam

TOWIE dullness

Brentwood Gazette: Somebody writes a poem about The Only Way Is Essex, local paper publishes it

I think, people, we've finally reached the bottom

Things up your bottom weirdness

Watford Observer: Hospital spends £20,000 retrieving things from people's bottoms

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Award dullness

Sussex Express: Company shortlisted for eco award

And I'm doing my bit by recycling this picture

Bike fall dullness

Eastern Daily Press: Man falls off bike

"It is not yet known what caused the fall" --- I'd hazard a guess at one of Newton's Laws

Spotter's Badge: Peter

Stuck boy dullness

Wakefield Express: Boy stuck in gate

Never mind that - WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS COMIC SANS OUTRAGE?

Toy dog dullness

The Messenger: Man takes toy dog for a walk

My Jack Russell would bum that to death. Just sayin'

Chair dullness

Dorset Echo: Chairs loaned out

Mother of God....

Parish council web page dullness

Henley Standard: Parish council looks into updating website

And this post is already longer than the original article

Andy Murray dullness

Northants Telegraph: Man makes thing for Andy Murray

The look on his face says "Have I made some sort of dreadful mistake here?"

And the killer quote: Mr Smith said he was not a particular Andy Murray supporter, but added: "I do like watching it now and again."

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Dull celebrity spot

Swindon Advertiser: Robbie Williams spotted

"He was spotted sitting on a wall outside the library. He later bought a drink in Costa Coffee"