Haunted car weirdness

North Wales Leader: Is man's car haunted by the ghost of a cat?

No. No it is not.

Spotter's Badge: David

Shopping Centre Question To Which the Answer Is No (and Desperate Local Angle On A Big Story)

This is Gloucestershire: Should Gloucestershire shopping malls increase their security in the wake of the Kenya terrorism attack?

No.

Spotter's Badge: Felicity

Cherie Blair dullness

Hemel Today: Former PM's wife has a spa day near Hemel Hempstead

Nuke the town from space, it's the only way to be certain

School reunion dullness - a 500th post celebrity spectacular

Watford Observer: Famous person goes to school reunion

Celebrities went to school? WHO KNEW?

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Duck quiche dullness

Bromley News Shopper: Duck found in a quiche

And the News Shopper strikes again. Where would this site be without them?

Spotter's Badge: Christina, Neil

Frying pan dullness

Surbiton Guardian: Minor damage, no injuries in frying pan fire

A story given the whole stock photo and Google Maps treatment

Spotter's Badge: Michael

Peacock dullness

Luton Today: Peacock spotted in garden

Nice bit of decking.

Escaped owl dullness

Stirling Observer: Escaped owl comes back

Spotter's Badge: Adam

Wooden post dullness

This is Local London: Small wooden post appears

Spotter's Badge: Scott

Small flood dullness

Reading Post: Small flood at house after tap springs a leak

So you call 999 instead of a plumber. Well done, you

Spotter's Badge: Graham

Planning permission dullness

Basingstoke Gazette: Plan to turn furniture shop into tea rooms

That's it. That's the whole story

Spotter's Badge: Tony

Celebrity spot dullness

Bromley News Shopper: Celebrity from south-east London spotted in south-east London

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Road to nowhere dullness

Norwich Evening News: A history of the A47 trunk road

You'll find this one's best read in an Alan Partridge voice

Chip shop dullness

Essex Echo: Woman stops working at chip shop

Spotter's Badge: TV Al's Murray

Escaped ferret dullness

Nottingham Post: Ferret on the loose

Is still is, as far as I know.

Stuck clock dullness

Get Surrey: Clock in Guildford tells the right time twice a day

Spotter's Badge: Christina

Scary clown weirdness

Northampton Herald and Post: Spooky clown on the loose

Followed by...

Northampton Herald and Post: Spooky clown still on the loose

Sleep well.

Royal dullness

Reading Post: Member of royal family (not pictured) eats food

Because even alien lizard men have got to eat

DATE FOR YOUR DIARIES

Bridgwater Mercury: Taunton Group of Advanced Motorists annual meeting looms

 Parking facilities available (see above)

Owl dullness

Colchester Gazette: OWL

Spotter's Badge: Alice

Old cat dullness

Bromley News Shopper: Oldest cat in the world 'is the same age as Dizzee Rascal'

If you are still in the dark, Dizzee Rascal is the same age as the Atlanta Falcons' Sam Baker

Big cat dullness

Eastbourne Herald: Big cat is just an ordinary sized cat, only closer

For a detailed look at this madness, take a gander HERE

Something happens near a celebrity dullness

Bormley News Shopper: Car crash near footballer Jermain Defoe

And by "near", they mean outside the shopping centre, and on the other side of the car park. Jermain Defoe survived this ordeal.

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Bathroom window dullness

Portsmouth News: Woman asks permission to open bathroom window

Lighting a candle for her. One of those poncy strawberry flavoured bath ones.
 
Spotter's Badge: Kenn

Old socks dullness

Gloucester Citizen: Man has very old socks

BREAKING: "I had to darn them recently"

Spotter's Badge: Felicity

Not a fire dullness

Rutland Times: Suspected smoke was - in fact - a cloud

[Head desk]

Crime of the year dullness

Beds on Sunday: Man wanted for pool cue theft

It's always the small stuff. Pool cues lead to snooker cues, and before you know it, he'll be snorting billiards tables

Spotter's Badge: Orangeaurochs

Big egg dullness

Hull Daily Mail: Chicken lays big egg

Good. GOOD.

Walking stick dullness

Ulster News: Man loses walking stick

Lighting a candle for the poor chap, using this large stick I've found.

Celebrity lookalike dullness

Bournemouth Echo: David Beckham not working in a barber shop in Bournemouth

Unless it's all a complex double-bluff, and it IS David Beckham

Mural dullness

Gloucestershire Gazette: Man paints gate

Spotter's Badge: Mark

Hedgehog dullness

West Sussex County Times: Hedgehog rescued

Spotter's Badge: Chris