No Lidl dullness

Knutsford Guardian: Knutsford too dull for Lidl

Praying for the poor people of this town

Spotter's Badge: Chris

Bin fire dullness

Galloway Gazette: Mystery as bin set on fire

ALIENS

Spotter's Badge: Count Otto Black

New toilets dullness

Northampton Chronicle: New toilets open

BUT WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

Spotter's Badge: Mike

Photocopier dullness

South Wales Evening Post: Council considers buying colour photocopier

This is the same council who explored new ways of stacking tables. It's all go in South Wales

And now:

South Wales Evening Post: Council discovers email

Spotter's Badge: Rebecca, Jack, Everybody

Clock change dullness

Galloway Gazette: Clocks go back today, man has a lot of clocks

In summary: CLOCKS

Spotter's Badge: Count Otto Black

Spider dullness

Kent Online: Spider found in sink

Looks like one I bought in a joke shop as a kid

Flower dullness

Basingstoke Gazette: Council buys some bulbs

FACT: My mother-in-law is on this actual parish council

Dry cleaner dullness

Kirkintilloch Herald: Woman leaves job at dry cleaners

I bet she's she's got some riotous tales to tell.

Oh.

Spotter's Badge: Count Otto Black

Geography dullness

Campbelltown Courier: Facebook corrects mistake

Spotter's Badge: Count Otto Black

Roundabout of the Year dullness

Sevenoaks Chronicle: Kent village wins coveted award

Steer clear of the area - this could still turn ugly

Lost jumper dullness

Dundalk Democrat: Football manager reunited with lost jumper

There's a relief.

Celebrity night club dullness

South Wales Evening Post: Somebody from a dreadful reality show to visit a nightclub in Swansea. After 10pm. On a Wednesday.

Tickets only £2.70, which is about £2.70 too much.

Broken down car dullness

Bromley News Shopper: Expensive car seen in Orpington

I don't think these "horseless carriages" are ever going to catch on

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Soapy dullness

Essex Echo: Police hunt for soap thief

He made a - oh-ho! - CLEAN GETAWAY!!!!111!!!ONE

Spotter's Badge: Christina

Shop shutter dullness

Surrey Mirror: Shop shutter gets stuck

Praying for those trapped inside

Spotter's Badge: Christina

Celebrity dog dullness

Watford Observer: Celebrity dog spotted in the Watford area

Also, the celebrity dog's owner.

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Shop dullness

Watford Observer: Shop to be refurbished

...all reported with eye-watering detail

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Knickers dullness

Henley Standard: Knickers stolen

And I urge you to click through, because even their auto-run videos are dull

Fence dullness

Henley Standard: Fence kicked

Where were you last Wednesday?

Chair dullness

Hunts Post: Mayor's chair gets a makeover

Stay clear of Huntingdon until the crowds are off the streets

Missing parrot dullness

Hunts Post: Parrot goes missing

Followed by

Hunts Post: Parrot found on horse

Spotter's Badge: Matt

Branston pickle dullness

Western Daily Press: Pickle lorry crashes near Cheddar

There's a joke in there somewhere that's been cracked only a million times since this story broke

Wheelie bin dullness

Ely Weekly News: Some people don't like their new wheelie bins

And how would you like them? Painted with famous artworks?

Spotter's Badge: Rebecca

Marketing awards dullness

Knutsford Guardian: PR company releases press release about itself

"...a full-service marketing agency that delivers results for our clients using integrated marketing solutions and customer satisfaction is at the very heart of our success so far. We consistently strive to add value to our clients at every opportunity, looking for new ways to exceed their expectations and help them achieve their goals, so it’s great that our efforts have been recognised with this nomination zzzzzzzzz..."

Spotter's Badge: Chris

Wedding speech dullness

Manchester Evening News: Football fan makes football joke at wedding

That's it. That's the story.

Spotter's Badge: Ian

Handrail dullness

Bath Chronicle: Handrail installed on footpath

That is one fine shirt/bow tie combination.

Spotter's Badge: Robert

Celebrity chef dullness

Watford Observer: Celebrity chef appears at supermarket

Simon Rimmer. No relation to Arnold.

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Football Question To Which The Answer Is No

South Wales Evening Post: Does splodge of paint look like Swansea City FC's logo?

No.

Spotter's Badge: Rebecca, Nick

Duck pond dullness

Basingstoke Gazette: Water level drops in duck pond

So they have a picture taken when it's raining

Spotter's Badge: Count Otto Black

Roundabout dullness

Windsor Express: Tyre company sponsors roundabout

"We just thought it is perhaps a good idea of advertising locally. It's a busy roundabout with lots of cars and that’s our business."

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Fire alarm goes off dullness

Coventry Telegraph: Fire alarm goes off

Don't worry. False alarm.

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Moss Bros Dullness

Northampton Chronicle: Shop moves two doors down the road

Spotter's Badge: Mike

Shopping centre cocktail dullness

Morley Observer: Shopping centre that got a new manager and a new retail liaison officer and one of those new-fangled 'coffee shops' that was visited by a celebrity and put its plans for expansion on public display also thinks about getting a new car park and finds its plans overwhelmingly approved by the public --- does some sort of booze free cocktail event

Spotter's Badge: Adam