Waitrose dullness

Hemel Today: Faceless bureaucrats decide against insisting on a footpath through the middle of local supermarket

Only took them 17 years to decide. Well done. Take the rest of the day off.

Celebrity spot dullness

Devon Midweek Herald: Helen Mirren *possibly* spotted in local cafe

Pancakes AND a latte, the minx.

Spotter's Badge: Martin

Even more potato dullness

Dorset Echo: POTATO DAY

It's like Groundhog Day, only with potatoes

Lost monkey dullness

Reading Post: Toy monkey found

Shan't bore you with the fact that this was news for three days. Happy ending - they burned it.

Big Cat Question To Which The Answer Is No

Fenland Citizen: Is the Fens big cat back?

No.

Potato press release disguised as news

Wiltshire Times: Quarter of people in Wiltshire can't boil a potato

And, by sheer concidence

Worksop Guardian: Quarter of people in Nottinghamshire can't boil a potato

Spotter's Badge: The Media Blog, Icod

Weather dullness

Buchan Observer: Stiff breezes at Delgatie fishery

No more pickled eggs for me, then

Spotter's Badge: Count Otto Black

Celebrity chicken wash dullness

Dorking and Leatherhead Advertiser: Michael Portillo visits Dorking to wash and blow dry a chicken

Actual headline. Blimey.

Spotter's Badge: Simon

Nice plasterwork dullness

Lancashire Telegraph: Ricky Tomlinson likes the decorative plasterwork at Blackburn Town Hall

Get a room, you pair.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Not a fire dullness

Reading Post: Overheated fan in Millets

Oh, the humanity

Barber shop dullness

Basingstoke Gazette: Man has shave

...writes 400 words about it

Pet Shop Dullness

Brighton Argus: Pet shop sells animals

Spotter's Badge: Richard

Wind dullness

Watford Observer: Bad weather happens

Can't say I've noticed.

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Doggy press release disguised as news

Cambridge News: Poncy dog snacks

My dog gets roadkill and likes it*

Spotter's Badge: Count Otto Black

*Lie

Flying cats weirdness

Lowestoft Journal: Cats can take off in high winds

Also, small dogs.

Spotter's Badge: Hannah

Rabbit dullness

Matlock Mercury: Rabbit hutch falls over

Live in a hole, you fools. A HOLE.

Spotter's Badge: Rachel

Hanging basket dullness

Henley Standard: Delivery of hanging basket pole delayed

Includes far too much detail about hanging basket poles and the positioning thereof

Farm prices dullness

Driffield Today: Feed wheat falls below crucial £155 per ton

SHEEP

Spotter;s Badge: Count Otto Black

Teddy dullness

Hull Daily Mail: Couple put teddy bears in house windows. For 47 years.

Bless.

Spotter's Badge: L0wey

Woolly dullness

South Wales Evening Post: Woman wears the same cardigan for 54 years

Never been off her back, not even to wash.

Lake Monster Question To Which The Answer Is NO

Westmoreland Gazette: Is this the famed 'Bownessie' Lake Windermere monster?

No.

Superb takedown of this nonsense HERE

BREAKING NEWS: We have no news

Linlithgow Gazette: Not much going on around here, so here's a nice picture somebody sent in

I'm led to believe that this was actually their website lead story for a while.

Spotter: Count Otto Black

Teapot mystery dullness

Cambridge News: With all crime in Cambridge solved, police launch investigation after teapot found

Drop everything, folks. This one looks important.

Spotter's Badge: Laura, David, Everybody

Bowls dullness

Chichester Observer: People like bowls

And as long as they're happy...

Spotter's Badge: David

Rear extension dullness

Worcester News: Planning application bid submitted

Well, good luck with that.

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Job dullness

Northampton Chronicle: Woman gets job

WELL DONE

Spotter's Badge: Mike

Mashed potato dullness

Beds on Sunday: Mashed potato sets off fire alarm

Picture presented actual size

Spotter's Badge: OrangeAurochs

Fog mistaken for fire dullness

Get Reading: Heavy fog mistaken for forest fire

*facepalm*

Dinosaur-Stroke-Meerkat Question To Which The Answer Is NO

Kent Online: Does this tree look like a dinosaur?

OK, it does. A bit. But there's no excuse for this...

Kent Online: Does this tree look like a meerkat?

No.

Spotter's Badge: The Demon Gin, Felicity