Harry Styles Question To Which The Answer Is NO

South Wales Evening Post: Is Harry Styles named after this man who is also called Harry Styles?

No.

Celebrity lookalike selfie dullness

Bromley News Shopper: Salon owner meets somebody who looks like Boy George. Also somebody who looks like Michael Buble

Alas, this doesn't look like news

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Getting The Internet Dullness

Henley Standard: Parish council to get Facebook page

...as a means of communicating with The Kids.

Good luck with that.

Lift rescue dullness

Reading Post: Man rescued from lift

The entire story based around 1 (one) tweet published by the fire brigade.

Small chair dullness

Wales Online: Prince Charles's chair returns to Wales

...where it'll be sold in a Scout hut jumble sale

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Rat weirdness

Edinburgh Evening News: I, for one, welcome our giant rat overlords

Superb photoshop job, there.

Spotter's Badge: Al

Pet selfie dullness

Get Hampshire: Some sad sack sends a selfie into local newspaper

Oh wait... that's me.

As you were.

Mayor's car dullness

Wirral Globe: Mayor gets a Vauxhall

Spotter's Badge: Sally

Egg dullness

Get Surrey: Couple find double-yolker eggs

Spotter's Badge: Christina

Guitar dullness

Henley Standard: Pupils pass guitar exams

Well ...er... played.

Cake dullness

Leamington Courier: Staff get cake

Spotter's Badge: Hazel

Dentist dullness

Henley Standard: Council approves sign

There'll be rioting over this, mark my words.

Rebrand dullness

Henley Standard: Local company gets new logo

But you can't see it.

Dulux dog dullness

Reading Post: Celebrity canine visits local shop

Using 'celebrity' here in its ironic post-TOWIE sense

Ghostly Question to Which the Answer is NO

Coventry Telegraph: Did a ghost appear during Irish president's visit?

No.

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Crisps fire dullness

Sunderland Echo: Shed full of crisps catches fire

Because, when the apocalypse comes, the world is going to need huge stockpiles of Monster Munch.

Solicitor press release disguised as news

Leamington Courier: Legal firm has a go at social media

Good luck to them, I say, but I leave them with this little FACT learned from bitter experience: About 2,000 retweets will give you about 20-30 click-throughs. Hope you've factored that in.

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Maidenhead press release disguised as news

Maidenhead Advertiser: Town wins made-up award

As always, impressed by any company who has the nerve to get this sort of thing published.

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Electronic point of sale dullness

Everything Geraldton: Local cinema joins 21st century

Spotter's Badge: Phil

Swan dullness

Northampton Chronicle: Swan walks down road

Spotter's Badge: Mike

Cat dullness

Carmarthen Journal: Cat stuck on roof

Spotter's Badge: Martin

Noticeboard dullness

Watford Observer: Council funds new noticeboard

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Cat-flap dullness

Brighton Argus: Wood pushed through cat-flap

NOT SEXY SLANG.

More Pocklington Dullness

Pocklington Post: 30 Questions with store manager Robert Windsor

I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt until I got to question 23

Juvenile crimewave dullness

Worcester News: Children throw gravel

Call the cops! Oh, right, somebody already did.

UFO question to which the answer is NO

Bromley News Shopper: Did a UFO fly over Bromley?

NO.

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Lost teeth dullness

Dorset Echo: Dentures found in charity shop

Are these yours? You manky git.

Pocklington Dullness

Pocklington Post: Badly-pixellated comedian enjoys visit to Pocklington

I looked it up so you don't have to. It's near York.

Spotter's Badge: TV's David Baddiel

Clean cooker dullness

Welwyn and Hatfield Times: Councillors take expert advice, vow to clean their cooker more often

Glad that's sorted.

Dull commute dullness

Ilford Recorder: Pigeon gets on a train

...and later gets off.

Spotter's Badge: Ed

Henley-on-Thames dullness

Henley Standard: Window broken

Henley Standard: Car park resurfaced

Henley Standard: Lady joins club, quite likes it

All happening in and around Henley this week.

Dog on roof weirdness

North Devon Journal: Dog rescued from roof

Dropped there by the Cheltenham evil seagull, no doubt

Spotter's Badge: Heather

Evil seagull weirdness

Gloucestershire Echo: Evil seagull "could kill someone"

No. No it won't.

How-much-Hugh dullness

Dorset Echo: Celebrity-owned business rolls out product list

Known locally as "How much Hugh" as that's what people say when they see his prices.

Flag dullness

Henley Standard: Commonwealth flag raised at council offices

Jolly well done.