Maplins dullness

Watford Observer: Shop re-opens

Good of Mel Brooks to cut the ribbon

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Bollards dullness

Henley Standard: New bollards

And if that wasn't enough excitement:

Henley Standard: New bus shelters

Two! Two of them!

Traffic lights dullness

East Anglia Daily Times: Lights fail on the A134 near Thetford

I've seen no report saying they've been fixed, so one can only assume that the poor people held up are still there.

Spotter's Badge: Kate

Pound shop dullness

North Devon Journal: Poundland opens in Barnstaple

While ours closes. It's like whack-a-mole.

Local planning dullness

Worcester News: Council says no to bungalow

And quite right too. Bungalows are a scourge on our society.

No... wait... that's crack dens.

Pound shop theft dullness

Sunderland Echo: STOP THIS MONSTER

Wears hi-viz tabard, suffer pixelitis.

Spotter's Badge: Andy

Dowsing dullness

Falmouth Packet: Idiots needed to take up dowsing

Count me out, as I'm not an idiot.

"... a tool for harmonising your home and enhancing your well-being"

Neither am I a tool.

New shop dullness

Leamington Courier: Shop moves to larger premises

Ably assisted by someone in a one-piece jumpsuit

Spotter's Badge: Rob R

Casino dullness

Essex Echo: Casino celebrates 2nd anniversary of refurbishment

"On Sunday, the Boogie Belles perform classics from the Andrew Sisters to Beyonce."

Thrilling.

Shopping dullness

South Wales Evening Post: 'Should I do my shopping at the local garage shop?' journalist asks out loud over the space of several hundred words

The TL;DR answer is: "Yes, yes I might"

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Autumn dullness

Henley Standard: They're collecting leaves in Wargrave

Hopeless, they'll never catch on as currency.

Katie Price dullness

Llanelli Star: Katie Price spotted in Wales

Quick! Shut the border!

Spotter's Badge: Nick

John Lewis advert dullness

Wirral Globe: Penguin on John Lewis advert rides a Wirral bus

Think that advert's cute? It will BRING BRITAIN TO ITS KNEES

Spotter's Badge: El Yammers

Fitness dullness

Fenland Citizen: The 1980s finally reach Wisbech

Just wait until they get the internet - it will blow their minds.

X Factor sausage weirdness

Bexley News Shopper: Butcher shows his support for local X Factor finalist through the medium of meat

And when he's eliminated, he's going in the grinder.

Spotter's Badge: Christina

Ghostly Question To Which The Answer Is NO

Get Surrey: Has there been a rise in paranormal activity in flooded homes?

No. No there hasn't.

Spotter's Badge: Len

Selby Leisure Centre dullness

Press Release: Man wins competition to choose name for new leisure centre in Selby

And the winning name: Selby Leisure Centre.

You genius, sir.

It's all kicking off in... Hebden Bridge

Hebden Bridge Times: Rogue hamster goes on the rampage

And after all that excitement...

Hebden Bridge Time: Organic gardening club to meet

Organic. Not orgasmic. Sorry to get your hopes up.

Spotter's Badge: Biziclop

Footpath dullness

Henley Standard: Footpath opens

And the worst news is that it might take you to Henley.

Tat for sale dullness

Bexley News Shopper: Even buyers on notorious online tat market Ebay not interested in this spectacular piece of tat

...perhaps News Shopper readers might make me an offer?

Spotter's Badge: Christina

Card shop dullness

Northampton Chronicle: Card shop opens

And on the very same day...

Northampton Chronicle: Card shop opens

Northampton: Your number one town for bits of paper folded in half.

Spotter's Badge: Mike

Teapot dullness

Get Bucks: Man gets hand stuck in teapot

A story so important, the Beeb sent top people to cover unfolding developments.

Mini-roundabout dullness

Windsor Express: Windsor to get a mini-roundabout

Good grief, the Empire's come to this.

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Finger dullness

Bath Chronicle: Man gets finger stuck

He's still there.

Spotter's Badge: Thomas

Toilet dullness

Watford Observer: Watford-based pub chain has nice toilets

I'll put it out there: Pubs shouldn't have nice toilets. They should be a trough, a rubber johnny machine, a sink that doesn't have a hot tap and no roof. The way the Lord intended. No wonder the pub game is dying on its arse if they're offering nice toilets.

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Accountancy dullness

Gloucestershire Echo: Accountant to work from home

Good. Well done.

Spotter's Badge: Andrew

Toast dullness

Coventry Telegraph: Man burns toast

I'd light a candle for him, but he'd probably burn his house down.

Spotter's Badge: Rob

McDonald's press release disguised as news

News Shopper: Restaurant has makeover

And the most wonderful piece of press release cut-and-pastery (Dead giveaway for press release spotters - Whole story in the top three paragraphs, first quote in the fourth. This is textbook stuff). We salute you, sub-editor!

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Parking ticket dullness

Cambridge News: PCSO describes in eye-watering detail how he bravely wrote a parking ticket

That's some smart police work, Lou

Spotter's Badge: Kate

Lego Project Not Dull At All

Reading Post: Speedway stadium fashioned entirely out of Lego

This is not dull. Posted because I work with the chap on the right.

NOT DULL.

Chalk sign dullness

Chorley Guardian: Asda told off for using chalk signs to advertise new store

If only - say - something could fall out of the sky to wash these signs away eventually

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Mappe of ye olde village dullness

Henley Standard: Map of Goring could be displayed at Goring station

Degree of difficulty: Only eight years out of date

Sandwich dullness

Hereford Times: Deli to serve sandwiches on new-fangled "plates"

Good heavens - what will these boffins think of next?