Fence on fire dullness

Worcester News: Fence on fire

It went out. It's all go in Worcester.

Spotter's Badge: Tim

Public toilet dullness

Oxford Mail: Unconfirmed reports of problems with public loos in Oxford city centre

Luckily, there's a helpline.

Spotter's Badge: Richard|

We haven't popped in on the Henley Standard for a while dullness

Henley Standard: Parking bays approved

That's the end of parking anarchy in Benson, then.

Warrington Civic Society dullness

Warrington Guardian: Civic Society sets up new committee

News about Civic Societies (usually people of a certain generation complaining about the state of equally crumbling buildings) is usually less than interesting. This is a prime example.

Super carrot press release disguised as news

Lancashire Evening Post: Lancs firm develops SUPER CARROT

It is rather less super than you think.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Peter Andre dullness

Rugby Advertiser: Peter Andre goes down the pub

He loves his kids, you know.

#TEAMKATIE

Spotter's Badge: Rob R

No elephants dullness

Bolton News: Decorative elephants removed from street

How many pictures of no elephants did the Bolton News need to illustrate no elephants? Four pictures of no elephants, that's how many.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Pretty colours on the road dullness

The Wokingham Paper: Simple village folk confused by markings on the road

It's for those 'horseless carriages' you've heard so much about.

Playground dullness

Plymouth Herald: Teenager gets stuck in child's swing

It's actually the same teenager from all the previous 'Teenager stuck in child's swing' stories we've run. They just leave her there.

Dyb dyb dullness

Watford Observer: Scouts buy new tent

At £1,670, it's made of gold and the hides of endangered rhinos

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Demonstration dullness

Wiltshire Times: Demonstration at Melksham and District Flower Arrangement Society

A headline that promised so much, yet delivers so little (unless you're really into flower arranging)

Stuff old people do dullness

Dorset Echo: New afternoon harmony singing group for the over fifties

I am 49. Is this what I've got to look forward to next year?

Ladder fall dullness

Bolton News: Man unhurt after falling off step-ladder

FACT: I once fell off a step-ladder while painting the outside of my house. When I came to, there was a perfect painted corpse outline where I landed. Alas, I didn't have the wit to take a picture. True story, bro.

Sheep in the road dullness

Falmouth Packet: Sheep block road

This might sound dull to you, but this cut off Cornwall from the rest of the world at a vital moment, and the pasty export industry has collapsed.

Wonky lamp post dullness

Bromley News Shopper: Wonky lamp post in Erith

Any excuse to wheel out this king among delightfully dull websites: Street lighting in Eastbourne

Spotter's Badge: Neil

C-List celeb press release disguised as news

Glossop.com: Some people you may have heard of heading to Glossop

Plenty of warning so you can barracade your doors and windows

Spotter's Badge: Simon

Bench dullness

Exeter Express and Echo: Bench stolen

If somebody tries to sell you this bench in a pub, that number again is 999.

Rich people's window cleaning dullness

Bournemouth Echo: Company that cleans windows for rich people expands

My poverty-stricken windows not good enough for them, obviously

Car dealership press release disguised as news

Exeter Express and Echo: Car dealership invent "reunion event"

Which isn't - naturally - an attempt to get you to sign a service contract.

Greggs dullness

Cambrian News: Is Greggs about to open in Aberystwyth?

Probably

Plymouth Herald: Is Greggs about to open in Plymouth?

Probably

Spotter's badge: Nick

Beth Tweddle dullness

Croydon Guardian: Beth Tweddle tells The Kids all about potatoes

The thousand yard stare that says "What the hell am I doing here?"

Spotter's Badge: Christina

Hornet dullness

Coventry Telegraph: Buzzy thing spotted in garden

Look, we're only interested if it has the word "Killer" or "Flesh-eating" in its name.

Spotter's Badge: Rob R

Hot air balloon dullness

Bolton News: Witchery afoot as balloon spotted over Bolton

The 18th Century finally arrives in Lancashire.

Fish food dullness

Bolton News: Kids visit Bolton aquarium

And that's the whole story. Not even a "Is that price-per-fish, or all you can eat?" gag.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Trapped horse dullness

Reading Post: Polo pony falls into swimming pool

Perhaps the most Berkshire news story in the history of Berkshire.

Spotter's Badge: Hugh

Market stall dullness

Tivyside Advertiser: Wool shop celebrates 40th anniversary

It is - according to the report - the only haberdashery in town, an achievement earned after dressing up as a ghoul and scaring all the other haberdashers away.

Goldenballs dullness

Dorset Echo: Is David Beckham in Weymouth?

God help the world if he is.

Goldenballs dullness

Dorset Echo: Is David Beckham in Weymouth?

If your reply is "Who cares?", you have won.

Shop logo dullness

Windsor Express: Prontaprint Windsor, in St Leonards Road, has introduced a new company fascia and logo to reflect the changing needs of its customers in the 21st century

What... what? Fell asleep for a moment there.

Spotter's Badge: Rob A

Locked in bedroom dullness

Somerset County Gazette: Boy rescued from bedroom

He's now locked in the cupboard under the stairs where he belongs. Well played, the Dursley family.

This is the second day in a row of Taunton dull stories. Is Taunton really that dull?

Vicar face dullness

Somerset County Gazette: Vicar gets too much sun

No she hasn't! It's only face paint!! Oh, my poor sides.

Spotter's Badge: Felicity

Fitness and beauty contest dullness

Watford Observer: Man enters competition

Our spotter says: The O2 is a massive tent held up by poles. A bit like his shorts.

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Country show dullness

Brighouse Echo: Todmorden Show gets new sheep category

Hang on a cotton-picking minute. That's a dog.

Spotter's Badge: Ross

Ghost dullness

Welwyn and Hatfield Times: 'Ghost' appears in photo

Complete with an "I know somebody who died and it's them" back story. 

Excellently debunked HERE