Even more Peter Andre dullness

Shropshire Star: Pete turns on Christmas lights, loves his kids

They spelled "TWAT" wrong.

BEWARE: Story contains a gallery featuring a brain-freezing 19 photographs from Telford's highlight of the year.

Bus dullness

Lancashire Telegraph: Bus breaks down

As you can see, it's caused CHAOS

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Dave Benson Phillips dullness

Worthing Herald: CBeebies star apologises for scaring kids with balloon

Apology accepted, now get out there and make balloon animals like you've never done before.

Spotter's Badge: Richard

Star Wars dullness

Bolton News: Fans dress up as popular characters to Star Wars video game in released in the middle of the night

Popular characters? Star Wars is a vampire movie now?

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Stuck knee dullness

Newbury Weekly News: Woman gets knee stuck in railings

Ah alcohol, is there nothing you can't do?

Producer-puncher dullness

Bath Chronicle: Has Jeremy Clarkson been seen in Bath?

I know the answer to this one! "Who gives a shit?"

Christmas Tree dullness

Llanelli Star: Christmas tree is somewhat smaller than expected

And here they come - the rubbish Christmas tree stories.

East Anglia animal dullness double bill

East Anglia Daily Times: Rubbish squirrel stuck up telegraph pole

East Anglia Daily Times: Kitten gets stuck

Animals: RUBBISH.

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Asda Christmas advert dullness

Watford Observer: Watford nightclub appears in advert

Think about it: A night out in Watford. Party.

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Grass cutting dullness

Eastern Daily Press: Norfolk on the verge of decision on cutting of roadside grass

Verge. Verge. GEDDIT?!?!

Pound shop dullness

Oxford Mail: Girl, 11, is first customer in new Poundland

Something to tell your grandkids.

Christmas Dullness

Hull Daily Mail: Family put their Christmas decorations up early

Well done. Now get dressed.

Mushroom dullness

Thornbury Gazette: Interesting mushroom found

I'll be the judge of that.

Spotter's Badge: Sarah

Estate agent dullness

Ham and High: Belsize born and bred, this NW3 agent knows how much the area has to offer

Which is basically "very expensive houses"

Spotter's Badge: Gaz

House party dullness

Warrington Guardian: PCSOs break up party, confiscate booze

By the look of things, they busted a right stormer.

Beer press released disguised as news

Northampton Chronicle: Beer is good for you, says British Beer Alliance

Now, there's a surprise.

Spotter's Badge: Mike

Hemel hempstead dullness double bill

Hemel Today: Shoe Zone moving into the unit next to The Works

Next to The Works. Sound move.

Hemel Today: Tower block will help Hemel shake off 'ugliest town' image

No it won't.

Spotter's Badge: Norbet

Pot plant dullness

Skegness Standard: Plant pot damaged in row

And a welcome return to the "CRIME" stock photo.

Spotter's Badge: Stu

No Coca-Cola truck dullness

Northampton Chronicle: Coca-Cola truck not coming to Northampton

Milton Keynes Citizen: Coca-Cola truck not coming to Milton Keynes


Holidays aren't coming.

Grimsby Telegraph: Screw the Coca-Cola truck, we're getting the Cadbury's lorry

Spotter's Badge: Mike, Thomas

Shopping centre dullness

Basingstoke Gazette: Basingstoke's Festival Place changes its name to Festive Place for Christmas

I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit, then change its name to Radioactive Place. It's the only way to be sure.

Ed Sheeran dullness

Ipswich Star: Ed Sheeran passes his driving test IN IPSWICH

Good grief, they have graduation ceremonies these days, or is it just for famouses?

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Sheep dullness

Rugby Advertiser: Sheep gets stuck

Solution: Sheep no longer stuck

Spotter's badge: Rob R

Nando's dullness

Bexley News Shopper: Nando's chicken spotted in Catford

Catford! He's lucky to be alive!

Spotter's Badge: Christina

Crumpet press release disguised as news

Bolton News: New, larger crumpets available

SHIT THE BED THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Bus stop dullness

The end of a trio of Bristol Post dull stories: Bus Stup

Yes, that will be because they put a new drain cover down and haven't re-painted. Next.

Rubbish cook dullness

Bristol Post: Man so bad at cooking he can't even do toast

A story so dull, they couldn't even be arsed to give it a proper URL.

Spotter's Badge: Andrew

Traffic light dullness

Bristol Post: Traffic signals not working

Steer clear of Bristol. I repeat: STEER CLEAR OF BRISTOL

Shed theft dullness

Clacton and Frinton Gazette: Strimmer stolen

The best part about this story is the use of the stock 'police tape' photo, the fall-back for any editor stuck for something to illustrate a crime story.

Spotter's Badge: Jim

Toast crime dullness

Hull Daily Mail: Police called to toast-related incident

It's a Section 241 (c) violation: Improper use of jam

Spotter's Badge: L0wey