Sent a letter to herself dullness

Hull Daily Mail: Girl is so bored she sends a letter to herself. The Hull Daily Mail is there

Honestly, this is a full-page feature with photos and video. Only the Queen falling under a bus would get more.

Dead duck dullness

South Wales Argus: Popular duck dies

Fifteen paragraphs on a dead duck, including this:

"One family, who don’t wish to be named, have said they are sad she's gone."

Spotter's Badge: Nick

Johnny Depp Norwich Bathtub rumours dullness

Eastern Daily Press: Did Johnny Depp really buy a bath tub in Norwich a year ago?

Let the man explain himself:

"We disposed of the thing and everything’s fine" 

He really could be history's greatest monster.

Spotter's Badge: Norbet

Roundabout Dullness

Having trouble getting to sleep at night? This blow-by-blow account of minor roadworks in Wagga Wagga will help you get a full eight hours. (Source: Daily Advertiser)

Spotter's Badge: Jacquie

Goggles dullness

Oxford Mail: Man to sell some comics so he can buy goggles to help fly his drone

I'm planning on taking a crap in about ten minutes, but I haven't felt the urge to go to the papers (I just put it on this award-worthy website)

Spotter's Badge: Richard

Celebrity eats food dullness

Lancashire Evening Post: Gok Wan eats pub food shock

Caesar salad, sweet potato fries, coleslaw.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Giant wasp dullness

Eastbourne Herald: Woman's lucky escape from "giant wasp"

It's a hornet, you peckers.

Spotter's Badge: Matt

Hole in the ground dullness

Maidenhead Advertiser: Hole appears outside pub

10,000 points to the sub who got "Police are looking into it" into the story.

Spotter's Badge: Rob A

McDonald's press release diguised as news

Oxford Mail: Table service comes to McDonald's

Herald Scotland: Table service comes to McDonald's

Grimsby Telegraph: Table service comes to McDonald's

Croydon Guardian: Table service comes to McDonald's

Bristol Post: Table service comes to McDonald's

Spotter's Badge: Richard

Duck dullness

One MK: Duck invasion reaches Tesco supermarket near  Milton Keynes

In the words of Danny Dyer: "Look at them, the arrogant little shitters"

Spotter's Badge: Adam

 Mid Devon Gazette: Ducks cross road

That's it. Ducks cross road.

Spotter's Badge: Kieran

Traffic gridlock dullness

Eastern Daily Press: Tractor breaks down in Norfolk

You would have thought that a Norfolk-based newspaper would have had a few pictures of tractors lying around. Nope.

Spotter's Badge: Steven

Even Elton John needs a wee dullness

Bexley News Shopper: Elton takes a wee in local pub

Nobody saw his Candle* in the wind.

* Penis

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Pig on the loose dullness

Bradford Telegraph and Argus: Pig on the loose in Fagley

Contains the immortal eye-witness account: "Seen the pig on Fagley Road other day lol"

Spotter's Badge: Sarah

Missing tortoise dullness

Gloucestershire Echo: Have you seen this tortoise?

Police confirm that the search area has been widened to a massive 50 metres

Spotter's Badge: Mike

Diet cake press release disguised as dull news

Bolton News: Diet sub rolls are a blasphemy and should be destroyed

Not that I'm biased or anything, but look at the state of that pair in the picture.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Serious shit going down in Henley dullness

Henley Standard: Wheelbarrow pushed over

Oh, the humanity

Celebrity alpaca dullness

Brighton Argus: Natasha Kaplinski now available to judge alpaca beauty contests

As am I, and I am much cheaper.

An actual kid with their head stuck in something dullness

Scunthorpe Telegraph: Child gets their head stuck in a toilet seat

Makes a change from railings or a saucepan, to be honest.

Spotter's Badge: Iain

Street light dullness

Shropshire Star: Bin lorry knocks street light over

Lighting a candle for the people of Market Drayton. Because they'll need it until this is fixed

Spotter's Badge: Steve

Grape mystery dullness

Plymouth Herald: Shopper find the number 38 in her grapes. What does it mean?

It means you have the number 38 in Sainsbury's Grape Bingo promotion. Play along at home if you have a Grape Bingo card.

Spotter's Badge: Ray

Paraedolia dullness

Newcastle Chronicle: 'Face' spotted in cloud over Newcastle football ground

It's poor dead Kevin Keegan looking down in despair

Oh, wait, he's not dead.

Spotter's Badge: Huw

Empty office dullness

Wales Online: Ever wondered what empty offices look like? Have we got pictures for you!

No, not really.

Spotter's Badge: Nick

Trapped arm anger

Watford Observer: Woman gets armed trapped

If I had infinite time, I'd do Complete Idiots in Local Newspapers. There *would* be some overlap, though

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Burning tree dullness

Worcester News: Tree on fire

Result: Tree no longer on fire

Spotter's Badge: Tim

Man standing in road dullness

Somerset County Gazette: Police called to stop man standing in road

He had already stopped. End of story.

Spotter's Badge: Richard

Stuck lorry dullness

Worcester News: Lorry gets stuck in Worcester

After feral locals killed and ate the driver, it's still there.

Hand grenade live blog dullness

Dorset Echo: Dud hand grenade sparks the dullest live blog in the history of journalism

Three minutes the bomb disposal team were on the scene during which the words "You called us out for this?!" were spoken.

Spotter's Badge: Ashley

Henley-on-Thames shabby bin outside Boots the Chemist dullness

Henley Standard: You know the bin outside Boots on Bell Street? Its been repainted. After all these years

I'd steer clear of Henley until the riots have finished.

Pointless dullness

Rugby Advertiser: Local MP is a zero-point asnwer on Pointless

Hardly a surprise, I've forgotten who he is already.

Spotter's Badge: Rob R

Mortgage advice dullness

East Anglia Daily Times: Independent Mortgage Adviser Trenter Bacon has relocated from its former based at Mistley, near Manningtree, to the East of England Co-op’s Wherstead Park headquarters site near Ipswich

Glad to hear it.

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Consistent frontages dullness

Northumberland Gazette: County council agrees a policy for fencing-off and installing parking areas in front gardens of open-plan housing estates

Insomniac? Try reading this.

Lost glasses dullness

Shillong Times: Court case adjourned because lawyer loses his glasses

And yet Daredevil still manages to make it to court in the morning.

Swimming pool dullness

Get Bucks: Council apology over cold swimming pool

It's not cold unless it's got icebergs in it.

Spotter's Badge: Rosemary