Still nothing happening in Derby dullness

Derby Telegraph: Newspaper continues with its ground-breaking lunchtime news column, despite the fact there is no actual news to go in it

A man was spotted whistling, and you can buy Minions in shops. That is all.

Spotter's Badge: Nowtas

Coin collection dullness

Wanneroo Times: Newspaper makes eye contact with man with extremely specific coin collection

That's 48,000 Australian 2006 five-cent coins, roughly equivalent to one life.

Spotter's Badge: David

Recruitment agency press release disguised as news

Get Reading: Recruitment agency is doing OK

"...are delighted at being named in 92nd position in the Thames Valley 250 list for the fourth year in a row."

HOT SHIT.

Peter Andre goes on holiday dullness

Bridgwater Mercury: Peter Andre goes on holiday

Tenuous local angle aside, Peter appears so frequently on this site, he's getting his own tag

Cinema dullness

Nottingham Post: Cinema gets new seats

They'll be sticky and covered in bodily juices within a month.

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Urban fox dullness

London Evening Standard: Fox has a sleep

Notting Hill. The most exciting thing to happen there since Hugh Grant.

Bolton News: They also have urban foxes in Bolton

Except they're rougher round the edges and don't drive a Fiat 500

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Icelandic doughnut dullness

Iceland Monitor: Long queues as doughnut fever hits Reykjavik

And a once great nation finally succumbs to obesity.

East Anglia Dull News Special

Norwich Evening News: Kettle Chips appoint new MD

Great Yarmouth Mercury: LOST OWL

Eastern Daily Press: Police escort for heron

Norwich Advertiser: Squirrels have no respect for the dead

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Trapped pigeon dullness

Oxford Times: Pigeon trapped inside former shop

A heart-warming story of people being kind to their fellow living creature, after which it flew at them and pecked their faces off.

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Mystery dog dullness

Henley Standard: Really really dull story about a dog, no picture

The dangers of putting your entire cprinted output up on the internet...

Band dullness

Lancashire Telegraph: Local band get record deal

So far so good, but click through for the rest of the story. It's majestic.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Lost and found dullness

Sutton Coldfield Observer: Set of car keys found

All kicking off in Sutton Coldfield this week.

Spotter's Badge: Don

Supermarket bread dullness

Scunthorpe Telegraph: Lidl supermarket to get bread counter

 Lidl says the proposed 'backnische' operation will allow products to be baked and sold within the same part of the store - increasing efficiency and productivity.

That's where I fell asleep.

Spotter's Badge: Susie

Peter Andre visits Llanelli dullness and also some other towns

South Wales Evening Post: Peter Andre tweets a double smiley-face over his impending visit to Llanelli

And then...

South Wales Evening Post: Peter Andre still looking forward to visiting Llanelli

And then...

Llanelli Star: Peter Andre visits Llanelli, town shits itself with excitement


But Pete's not been loyal to Llanelli. He's seeing other towns too, the shameless HUSSY.

 Northern Echo: Peter Andre visits Durham

And...

Bristol Post: Peter Andre visits Bristol, manages to wear a T-shirt upside-down

And...

Stoke Sentinel: When Peter Andre visits towns, he sometimes needs to fill his car up with petrol. For example, Stoke

It's your own fault, Pete. You've gone and driven us into the welcoming arms of Team Katie.

Hanging basket dullness

Watford Observer: Butcher wins Bovingdon hanging basket competition

JUST LOOK AT HIS HAPPY LITTLE FACE

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Large tomato plant dullness

Kent Online: Has this man grown Britain's biggest tomato plant?

New category: Questions To Which The Answer Is 'Who Cares?'

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Bad news for chickens dullness

Brighton Argus: Third branch of Nando's opens in Brighton

Yet my town doesn't even get a Pizza Hut.

Accountancy website dullness

The Lincolnite: Accountancy firm has a good accountancy website, says accountancy magazine

Accountancy.

Spotter's Badge: Stuart

Towering inferno dullness

Lynn News: Firefighters put out saucepan fire

Lincolnshire Fire and Rescue said the blaze was put out by firemen removing the pan from the heat source.

Amazing.

Spotter's Badge: Jonny

Pork ambassador dullness

North Wales Daily Post: Farmer becomes Welsh Ambassador for Pork (and pork products)

[Sexist jokes goes here]

Spotter's Badge: Martin

Metal detector dullness

Lancashire Telegraph: Man finds something, but it belongs to somebody else

Look at him. It's pissing with rain, but he's smiling. Get in the sea.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Shrewsbury dullness

Shropshire Star: Town gripped by Shroosbury vs Shrowsbury stand-off

It's "Shrewsbury", you fools.

Spotter's Badge: Tim

Road repairs dullness

Bromley News Shopper: Minor road closed for speed bump repairs

Adjust your routes accordingly, people

Spotter's Badge: Neil

England in Bloom dullness

Cotswold Journal: Ledbury has been judged

...by a time traveller from the 1950s.

Spotter's Badge: Akron

Planning and engineering consultancy press release disguised as news

Reading Post: JMP open a new office in Reading

In the old DHSS offices, I notice.

Long beard dullness

Oxford Mail: Actor doesn't shave

He'll be a shoe-in for any forthcoming role as Gerry Adams.

Spotter's Badge: Richard

Derby dullness again

Derby Telegraph: Still nothing happening in Derby

And here are some more photographs to prove it.

Spotter's Badge: Khyle

Di's butler dullness

Bolton News: Paul Burrell goes shopping. Nothing untoward happens

There's lovely.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Sheeran/Scherzinger dullness

Eastern Daily Press: Famous people go down the pub

That photo does Sheeran no justice at all. He really doesn't look like a potato.

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Cow on the road dullness

Dorset Echo: Cows block the only paved road in the whole county

Good work, cows.

Emoji dullness

Wiltshire Times: Crop circle is giant emoji

Stop it. Stop it now.